Having identified a priority for Lydia of giving her more body rubs and gentle massage, I introduced these during our walk today.
So, as well as continuing to reinforce “heel” and “watch”, using some of her daily food allowance combined with tasty treats for rewards, I stopped a few times during the walk to rub around her neck, ears and lower abdomen.
This had an immediate calming effect. I also made sure that I gave her lots of verbal encouragement as we were walking along: “we’re OK Lydia”, “yes, good girl, we’re doing OK”, repeated often.
This evening, after we’d had our respective meals, Lydia came up to me while I was sitting on the settee, and I gave her some more rubs, all around her ears and down her spine. She sat there for ages while I did this – a far cry from when we first got her, when she would not have been able to accept this kind of attention at all. She came back for a little bit more rubbing and some brushing, and then started barking – an invitation I have come to realise, at this time of an evening, to have a bit of a play.
We played ‘tuggie’ with an old towel for a while, then she settled down.
At my Qigong class today, we started by giving our knees a gentle rub. As Sue, the teacher said, this was an acknowledgement that we were going to be kind to ourselves, to our bodies, for an hour, doing gentle movements under gentle guidance.
I haven’t always found it easy to care for myself; I used to have a tendency to push myself too hard, and to look after others’ needs first. While I continue to want to look out for and care for others, including Lydia, I also recognise now, particularly at this stage of my life, that I need to look after myself as a priority.
So, I have had a good ‘Mental Health Monday’, with a lovely walk around and through a wood; a yoga session which concentrated on developing strength and flexibility in the spine; and a Qigong class which incorporated a range of movements to open up the shoulder blades, promoting a calmer mind through working with the body and the breath.
I’m hopeful that I’m helping Lydia to have a calmer mind too.
My knee is healing, and getting stronger, each passing day”
This affirmation has been coming into my head this morning and I kept saying it to myself, over and over again, as I drove to the walking spot for Lydia and me.
I also kept saying it over and over to myself as I was walking with her. And as she was walking with me, she was walking easily to heel most of the time.
I reinforced this with occasional reminders: “heel – yes – good girl”/treat. But she seemed happy to fall in easily by my side with a loose lead, and we had a lovely walk together in the sunshine, with a light breeze.
I’m looking into how I can do more work with Lydia’s vagus nerve, and more work with my own nervous system, dysregulated after years of doing my best to address compounded complex sets of difficult circumstances.
The website, stuffofsuccess.com, identifies a number of ways that a dog’s vagus nerve can be re-set or stimulated:
1. Learn to read their body language. Anxious dogs tend to drool, pant heavily, pace back and forth, or whine when they’re feeling anxious. Some dogs may tuck their tail between their legs or pin down their ears. Pay close attention to your dog’s body language so you can react quickly to help settle them down.
2. Show them some physical affection. Few things get a dog to calm down faster than the owner’s touch. Pet parents can help alleviate their dogs’ stress by holding them or petting them during stressful events.
3. Put on some classical music. Music therapy has been shown to work for some anxious dogs. Dogs with mild separation anxiety may benefit from music therapy when they’re left at home alone.
4. Try aromatherapy. Use an essential oil diffuser to fill the air with calming aromas such as chamomile or lavender. You can also try diffusing synthetic pheromones that can help calm dogs.
5. Provide a calm, safe place. If your dog’s anxiety is triggered by thunderstorms or loud noises like fireworks, it’s important that your dog feels safe when these triggers occur. Dogs’ ears are much more sensitive than human ears, so consider placing a white noise machine in a cozy spot in the house to drown out the noises that are scaring them. Keep stimuli to a minimum.
6. Dress your dog in a calming vest. Calming vests wrap around your dog, offering a consistent level of pressure that can make them feel calm during stressful situations.
7. Provide proper socialization. Exposing puppies to a wide array of social situations can help stave off anxiety at a young age, but you may want to skip the dog park. Provide socialization in a more controlled environment first. Older dogs who may have pre-existing traumas or phobias may need the help of a trained behaviorist.
8. Make sure hyper dogs get enough exercise. Sometimes the best thing for a hyperactive dog is to let them get their energy out through exercise. If your dog is exhibiting destructive behaviors at home—chewing, jumping, biting—they likely have pent-up energy that needs to be exhausted. Take them for a walk or give them some extra playtime to help bring down their stress level.
9. Avoid eye contact with hyper dogs. Dogs love attention, but sometimes this can be counterproductive. Hyper dogs who are exhibiting anxious behaviors may feel validated when they receive attention while acting out. Instead, try to ignore a hyper dog until they calm down. Then reward them for calming down with lots of eye contact and dog treats.
10. Give them calming supplements. Chamomile, pet-friendly CBD oils, and melatonin are all good options for helping lower your dog’s heart rate. Check with your veterinarian before giving your dog any over-the-counter supplements to ensure you’re giving your dog the correct dose.
11. Consider anxiety medication. If most calming techniques are not working to calm your dog down, talk to a veterinarian about getting your dog a prescription anxiety medication.
Of these, I haven’t done any work with her so far on 4, 6 and 11. I do occasionally burn a scented candle or some joss sticks in the house, but generally the house is a calming environment for Lydia.
If she was demonstrating anxiety all the time, at home and during walks outside generally, I would consider anxiety medication. But she’s so much calmer than she used to be when we’re outside, that I would be reluctant to go down that route because of potential side effects. We’ve recently consulted a behaviourist regarding her reactivity to other dogs, and we continue to put into practice the techniques identified. Therefore I’m going to do more work with her on ‘massage and gentle pressure’ as my identified priority for the time being.
Ear massage, neck and throat massage and acupressure & TTouch are identified on stuffofsucess.com as techniques that focus on nerve stimulation, for example using “light circular motions along the spine and near the ears”.
I don’t know what TTouch is so will do some more research to find out. In the meantime, I can do more of what I’ve been doing on ear, neck and throat massage.
Having done that bit of research, and identified a priority to help Lydia feel more relaxed, I can now look forward to a bit of relaxation for myself for the rest of the day.
We have a neighbour coming round to enjoy the sunshine with us. Warm sausage rolls, cold beer, potato salad and coleslaw. It’s going to be a good afternoon.
I usually take her out for a walk mid- to late morning.
This morning, I had my poetry group meeting starting at 10, and I needed to leave for that around 9.20.
I could have taken Lydia out for an early walk, but I needed a bit of a lie in and she didn’t seem too keen on an early start either.
While I understand that routines are generally considered good for dogs (and some humans)[1], I also personally think that an occasional change of routine can be a good thing too.
I’m not alone in holding this view:
Routine keeps us comfortable, but it can also leave the brain in a bit of a rut. When we shake up our daily habits, the brain has to adapt, engage, and stay alert, which can boost mental flexibility and cognitive resilience. Changing up small parts of our routines—like taking a different route to work or brushing our teeth with the opposite hand—might seem simple, but these small acts can significantly affect cognitive health.[2]
My inclination can often be to push myself in order to accommodate the needs of others, including my dog. That’s no bad thing, except that I’ve recently come to realise that pushing myself progressively over a period of time, to accommodate a very difficult set of circumstances, has had a dysregulating effect on my nervous system. I’ve been experiencing some of the symptoms identified with nervous system dysregulation including feeling emotionally overwhelmed, irritable, or easily triggered’[3] Knowing that I was close to burnout, I’ve also, for some time, been doing quite a lot to try and restore balance, including resting, practicing Qigong and yoga, meditating, walking with Lydia, making things with clay, spending time in good company, spending time alone.
With the line now drawn under the difficult circumstances that I’ve been dealing with, I’m confident that the measures I’ve been taking will start to have more of a positive impact on my emotional and mental health.
I’m also confident that changing Lydia’s routine now and again is not going to have a negative impact on her emotional and mental health.
The theme for the next poetry group session is ‘birds’. Lydia and I saw a few birds on our walk through the woods this morning. Birds are a source of inspiration for my work with clay. I look forward to letting myself be inspired by the subject of ‘birds’ in my work with words. It’s good being a Poetic Potter and a Potting Poet, and it’s good being glad about life.
Lydia had a chance to run about without harness or lead this morning, in a secure dog field.
I love to see her using what I call her ‘happy legs’, as she trots around, rolls about, sniffs, sniffs and sniffs some more.
While she is doing what she wants to do, I do some exercises for my knees. I’m still applying the ‘wear and tear’ gel to the backs of my knees, taking a joint care supplement, and saying the affirmation: “My knee is healing and getting stronger each passing day”. This combination of attention to my knees seems to be working. My right knee – the one that I was having some problems with a few weeks ago – is much improved. Again, I reflect on how lucky I am, at the age of 69, to have the level of fitness and health in my body that I have.
During difficult times mentally and emotionally it can be hard to look after ourselves physically. Well, that’s my experience anyway and earlier blogs refer to evidence that supports this.
And, of course, it is in those times that we most need to look after ourselves in all aspects, so that we can have the chance to recover into a good place.
If it wasn’t for Lydia, I would have nowhere near the level of physical fitness that I have at the present time. Taking her for a walk every day – even if it isn’t a particularly long or strenuous one – has helped me both physically and mentally. The training and learning we’re doing together helps to keep us both mentally stimulated and strengthens the bond between us.
I gave her some good neck and leg rubs this morning while we were out in the dog field. She settled down into the massage, then shortly afterwards went for another run and a roll.
I’ve read a little bit about the vagus nerve and the part it plays in regulating a dog’s nervous system.
I’m doing some of the things that are recommended to help support her nervous system. She is generally quite calm in most situations these days, including now as she is lying outside in the back yard, enjoying some sunshine and not even barking at the birds. Progress!
As for me, well I think my vagus nerve may be over-stimulated and not well-regulated, but I will keep working on it, doing my best to remain as calm as possible, even under difficult circumstances.
Coming back to knees, I came across an online article, published recently by the Knee Pain Centers of America (The Psychological Impact of Knee Pain and How to Cope) which identifies a link between stress and knee pain:
Stress plays a crucial role in the experience and management of chronic knee pain, affecting both physical and emotional health. When an individual encounters stress, the body activates the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to increased secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone. Elevated cortisol levels over time can contribute to tissue degeneration, muscle wasting, and persistent inflammation, all of which can exacerbate knee pain.
Psychologically, stress is closely linked with emotional disturbances like anxiety and depression. These mental health issues can alter pain perception, often intensifying the sensation of pain through neurochemical pathways. Depression, in particular, involves cytokine imbalance and neurotransmitter dysregulation, which can make pain feel more severe and reduce motivation for physical activity.
Moreover, chronic knee pain can itself influence mental health adversely. Limitations in movement and daily activities may lead to social withdrawal, loneliness, and feelings of helplessness. This emotional distress feeds back into the physical aspect, worsening inflammation and pain, and setting up a vicious cycle.
However, research indicates that managing stress through lifestyle modifications, engaging in regular, low-impact physical activity, and psychosocial strategies can break this cycle. Techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and support groups have shown to alleviate stress, reduce inflammation, and improve both mental well-being and joint health.
Referring to strategies to reduce stress and its impact on knee health, the article notes:
Effective strategies include engaging in mindfulness-based exercises such as yoga and tai chi, which promote joint flexibility and mental calmness. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle with weight management, smoking cessation, and regular exercise helps lower stress levels and protect joint integrity.
Supportive therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) help reframe negative thought patterns about pain, reducing catastrophizing and emotional distress. Additionally, social support networks and participation in support groups can provide emotional resilience, helping individuals cope better.
Incorporating these approaches into comprehensive treatment plans addressing both physical and mental health aspects yields better outcomes, reducing pain severity, improving mood, and fostering overall well-being.
Therefore I seem to be doing quite a few things right to help maintain healthy knees. I’ve still got a lot to work on but I am doing what I can, when I can.
The identified strategy also brings to mind and – to my mind – supports the principle of affirmations. Affirmations help to reframe negative thought patterns and I am committed to continuing to do that, for myself, for my knees and for my dog.
My knee is healing and getting stronger each passing day.
The Buddhist teaching last night was about ‘patient acceptance’, this being the opposite of anger.
I have been working on patient acceptance for some time, and also been struggling with anger.
In his book, ‘How to Transform Your Life’, the Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso Rinpoche says that “We need to think about our own faults because if we are not aware of them we will not be motivated to overcome them.”
I have been motivated to overcome my fault of anger and continue to be motivated to do so; never more so in my life than I am now. Meditating helps.
The benefits of meditating in a group, for me, are significant. That doesn’t mean that I can’t and don’t benefit from meditating on my own, but there is something about a group meditation that I find has a calming effect, at a very deep level.
Today, I don’t feel angry.
It’s now early evening.
I had a lovely walk with Lydia this morning, then met up with a friend and sat outside in the sunshine, then met up with another friend and had a walk with her and her dog. I think that all adds up to a very good day. I am very lucky, to have had such a good day, today.
Lydia is lying quietly outside. It’s very peaceful here.
Lydia and I have both had healthy breakfasts today.
Her dry food has a high protein content, with lots of different ingredients including pumpkin, chickpeas, salmon oil, blueberries, dried ginger root, green-lipped mussels, glucosamine, chondroitin, Vitamin C, and others.
These pellets form the main basis of her diet, which I top up with additional food and treats. I try to make sure that the treats also have a high nutritional value.
I hope that her diet, combined with our regular exercise, combined with our training routines, will help to keep her healthy in mind and body. I hope that the love and attention I give her will help to keep her healthy in spirit.
My own breakfast this morning took the form of half a banana, some fresh strawberries, natural yoghurt, no-added-sugar muesli and some semi-skimmed milk. Historically I haven’t always been great at making sure that I have a healthy diet, but I’m getting better at it now. I’ve previously worked through an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, so it’s taken me a while to reach a point of having a healthy attitude to food. I do now though, on the whole.
In this blog I’ve most recently been writing about life with reference largely to my relationship with Lydia. This is because we are working together, Lydia and Me. She is learning to “heel” and I am learning to ‘heal’. In fact, we are both learning to heal, and we are helping each other.
Pottery also features as part of the healing process for me.
While I describe myself as a ‘Poetic Potter’ and a ‘Potting Poet’, I haven’t written a lot of poems recently.
I used to write more poetry, particularly when I had no other outlet for or inclination towards the creative arts. I do, however, belong to a poetry group, a poetry ‘corner’.
We meet once a month in a local library. It’s the library in the town where I was born.
Each month, we set a theme for the following month’s meeting. This month, the ‘theme’ is the name of the town where we meet; the town where I was born.
The ethos of our group is one of positive feedback; it is a very gentle and supportive group, facilitated by a very gentle and supportive leader. We get a chance to read out poems that we’ve written, and to receive comments about them. This is the poem that I have written for the next meeting:
The Library
We met in a library It’s a different library to the one I meet others in, today
Since then a lot of waves have washed upon the shore and pulled back into nothing at all
I have little in the way of recall to the times between but that doesn’t mean I don’t or didn’t care
It just means I am aware of a great tidal void between then and now
Except that in this library at this time I am nowhere near the same as I was in that library, then
A fellow member of the group described the meetings as ‘soul food’.
I’m looking forward to some spiritual sustenance on Saturday, when we have our meeting. I’m also looking forward to further spiritual sustenance tonight, when I go to the Buddhist meeting. This will be for the second in the latest group of four classes: ‘Transforming Through Adversity’.
One of my bowls, featured on a friend’s windowsill
Yesterday’s combination of walking, yoga and Qigong worked well as I had a restful evening and a good night’s sleep.
I did wake up at around 3am when dawn was already breaking and the birds were already singing. Listening to the birds, the sound of the wind and what was at one point quite heavy rain, I fell back to sleep and woke feeling refreshed, ready to make the most of today.
It’s been a good start so far.
Lydia and I have had a wild and wonderful walk, with the weather warm and slightly breezy. The sun came out too.
It’s a Tuesday, so I’ll go and visit my friend in the village this afternoon. I go every Tuesday, for a couple of hours in the afternoon. We usually go out for a stroll, if the weather’s OK. More fresh air! More exercise!
Lydia is outside enjoying some sunshine now.
I’m going to start making arrangements for my latest pots to be fired.
I don’t have a kiln at home – yet – but I do know someone who runs a firing service. We arrange a time and a place around mid-way between her home and mine, for drop-off and pick-up. She provides a very good service; takes the greatest care.
I have plenty of time before the next planned event for selling my wares – the Aldborough & Boroughbridge Show:
Consolidation is going to be a theme for me, going forward, for the foreseeable. I’m not quite sure as yet what form the process of consolidation will take, or what forms my pots may take, but process and pots will take form, one way or another.
Today I’ve had a walk/yoga/Qigong combo: great for physical and mental health.
The Policy paper, Major conditions strategy: case for change and our strategic framework Updated 21 August 2023 (www.gov.uk), includes reference to Musculo Skeletal (MSK) Health:
What the data tells us and our existing commitments
MSK conditions affect people across the life course and cover a range of conditions, including conditions of MSK pain such as osteoarthritis, back pain and fibromyalgia, osteoporosis and inflammatory conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis and spondyloarthritis.[footnote 48]
Prevention, early detection and treatment can enable people to live in good health, remain independent and connected to the community, reduce the pressure on health and social care services and support people with MSK conditions to thrive in work.
Reducing the risks
There are multiple risk factors that can heighten people’s susceptibility to MSK conditions. These include living in an area of high deprivation, older age, being a woman, having a mental health condition, and genetic predisposition.[footnote 49]
There are also many modifiable risk factors that include physical inactivity, living with overweight or obesity, diets deficient in vitamin D or calcium, and smoking.[footnote 48] For a high number of MSK conditions, secondary prevention will also be effective.
Everything around us – and underfoot – is green
I’m doing my bit in reducing the risk to myself, with my commitment to physical activity of various kinds.
The crops in the field, either side of the narrow path that leads to the woodland walk for Lydia and me, are continuing to grow. They are now up to waist height on me. That doesn’t mean they are particularly tall, because I’m not, but they are doing well and hopefully will flourish.
Lydia is a bit ‘tuggie’ this morning, so I do a few about turns. There is a moist warmth arising from the path. Everything around us – and underfoot – is green.
We’re out for over an hour, at a steady pace. I enjoy my walk in the wood. With the amount of sniffing she does, I feel confident that Lydia does too.
Returning home, we both have our breakfasts and then I rest for a while before going out to my yoga class. The class on this day lasts for one-and-a-half hours, and I feel like I’ve had a good workout by the end of it, building up muscle strength and developing flexibility.
After yoga I drive straight on to Qigong, a journey of about 20 minutes. I arrive early and sit outside on a wall for a while. It’s warm, not hot, and there is a gentle breeze.
I speak with the Qigong teacher, Sue, and we reflect on why – with all its health benefits – Qigong is still not that well known and more widely practiced. We don’t really have any answers, but I am just very glad that I do go to classes and I do get the benefits.
The current group of three Qigong lessons – of which this is the second – is concentrating on ankles and shoulder blades. We are slowly building up to a lovely movement known as ‘Cloud Hands’.
By the end of the class I feel ‘lighter’ in head and body. A lot of tension has gone. Not all of it, by any means, but a lot. I am hopeful of a good sleep tonight.
As I write, my beautiful girl is crunching her way through a dental chew.
The chew is bone shaped. I did quite a lot of internet searching to find out about different brands, and this is one of the brands that got the best reviews. She has good teeth, and I want to help her to look after them.
I’ve struggled a bit with looking after my own teeth in the past.
I previously wrote a blog post about this, and about other aspects of self-care within the context of mental distress:
At that time, there was a mental health update strategy in progress with a claim that mental health would be included in an overall ‘major conditions’ strategy that will focus on ‘whole-person care’.
There is now a Policy paper ‘Major conditions strategy: case for change and our strategic framework’ (Updated 21 August 2023) that includes common mental health conditions and severe mental illness (SMI).
There is some reassurance in the reference to reducing risks earlier in life, and it is also noted that:
“… access to physical healthcare is particularly important for people with SMI. The NHS LTP sets out a transformation programme to develop integrated models of care and holistic support closer to home. The major conditions strategy will outline how to do more to implement physical health support across mental health pathways.”
So, there’s a long way to go but at least there does seem to be some movement in the right direction, hopefully for future generations and hopefully for some people sooner than that.
In the here and now, I continue with my own strategy to manage my health and wellbeing, relying on only minimal, but still welcome, support from the system in the form of anti-depressant medication.
However, I do have access to other forms of support, that make all the difference to me in the context of my life. These take human and canine form. They are, of course, my friends, including Lydia.
With her, I am out every day, walking, enjoying fresh air and steady exercise. I have, with her, companionship and company. Good company.
My friends are amazing – they are rallying for me at a time when I am struggling emotionally.
I am still struggling with anger; have just come back from a Buddhist prayer session; have just spoken to a friend on the phone; am writing this. It all helps; having positive outlets for energy and emotions helps. I didn’t have this when I was younger, but I do now.
“I choose to be peaceful and calm. Everything is unfolding as it should.”
I had a lovely visit with friends yesterday. They lifted me.
I was late arriving at their house. There had been a road accident and I struggled to find an alternative route. When I phoned them to let them know about my delay, they made sure that I realised it didn’t matter – they just wanted to see me. This meant such a lot to me.
I rested into most of the rest of the evening on my return home, after giving Lydia her tea.
I’m continuing to feed her all her food by hand, as training rewards, either when we’re out on a walk, or at home for her evening meal.
The big treat for Lydia, as part of her evening meal, is a raw bone. Today it’s a chicken drumstick. She waits for 90 seconds on “stay” and then bounds towards me when I say “here”. Lydia loves her raw bone[1]. It’s a high value treat that provides a really good opportunity to reinforce the training and learning we’re doing together.
Trev went out to buy our tea – fish and chips. We have some great chippies round here. I like mine with curry sauce. He has mushy peas. This is a high value treat for us.
A phone call from another good friend also meant the world to me and I slept with a much easier mind that I’d had the other day.
This morning, I wake around 8am.
At some point during the night Lydia went downstairs to continue her sleep in her favourite armchair. She has a bed in the bedroom which she loves but also loves that chair.
When I go down in the morning to make a cup of tea, she turns from her sleeping position onto her back, with floppy paws.
This is my invitation to tickle her tummy, although these days it’s more of a massage.
I concentrate on her neck, upper arms and chest, rather than her tummy. I’m not a trained masseuse, either human or canine, but I focus on muscles and areas where she might be holding a bit of tension. She makes some soft gurgling noises so I think I must be doing OK. To finish, I take hold of each of her paws in turn and give them a bit of a rub. This will, in turn, help her to feel more comfortable when her paws are being held for claw clipping.
Lydia and I have our woodland walk today.
I do some heel reinforcement work on our walk across the field towards the wood, and the walk itself is easy. I only have to do an occasional turnabout if Lydia starts to tug, but she’s not doing much tugging at all. After a full circuit, I decide to go back and do the walk again, from the other direction.
My right knee, that I’ve had a few problems with recently, is much better.
I’m lucky. At 69 I have no serious physical ailments or infirmities to contend with.
To improve the condition and flexibility of my knees, I’ve been doing some physio exercises that I was taught. I also rub in ‘wear and tear’ lubricating gel, morning and evening, take a good quality multi-vitamin and mineral supplement for joint care, and repeat an affirmation:
“My knee is healing, and getting stronger, each passing day.”
It’s easy to forget, when things are going well, what it’s taken to get to that point.
So, I’ll continue with my maintenance regime, and hopefully continue to enjoy the benefits of healthy knees.
[1] Dogs should never be given cooked bones. Raw bones may not be suitable for all dogs. Consultation should always be made with a qualified canine nutritionist and/or vet.
Glad About 
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