Author: 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'

I often look back but always move forward, opening to the possibilities that life filled with wealth - in all its forms - can bring

Day 8

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Writing into Life, more

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Yesterday I ate cake and nothing but cake. But I didn’t eat the whole cake.  I had some more for brunch today and there’s still plenty left. It’s just as well, then, that I like cake.

It’s quickly come back round to ‘Mental Health Monday’, with yoga and Qigong each concentrating on areas that I’m glad to have some help with, including joints, back and legs. All good for mind, body and spirit.

Lydia is learning not to bark at the sheep in a field close to where we start our woodland walk.  The field that the path to the wood cuts through is planted with a combination of brassicas and legumes that are still in the early stages of growing.  I haven’t seen this combination of planting before, and wonder if it will be a crop that matures before winter, or in the spring.  We shall see.

Although it is a signed public footpath through the field, I’m careful where I tread, to minimise impact on the crop. At the moment it doesn’t look like it’s getting much traffic other than from Lydia and me, but over the last few years it has been well trod throughout the year. 

Lydia spots a squirrel in a tree, but doesn’t seem too inclined to try and chase it.  She does sniff and pull a lot through the wood. On the way back, though, she’s more settled.  With a bit of encouragement from me, we walk past the sheep and get back to the car.  It’s a grey dampish day but thanks to Lydia I’ve had a chance to get some fresh air and exercise, and smell the smells of the earth and the autumn leaves.

Day 7

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Writing into Life, more

I wake this morning feeling lighter of heart than I have for a long time.

To celebrate, on the way home from my walk with Lydia, I stop off at the shop and buy the ingredients to make cake.

When I bake, I bake big, and I make lots of lemon and vanilla cake, including one for our new next-door neighbour.  So far, I haven’t properly introduced myself, although I did give him a friendly wave when I saw him in his car while I was out doing some work in the front yard last week.

Trev’s out so Lydia and I have some quiet time together while the cake is cooling down enough to sandwich layers together with lemon curd and vanilla icing.  I can tell it’s going to be exceedingly good cake.

Day 5

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Writing into Life, more

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Lydia’s enjoying some ‘Lydi juice’ – chicken broth – as the final course for her tea, which has included cooked chicken drum fillets, her main course of BARF[i]-based dried pellets and a raw chicken wing.

Trev is preparing our tea – soup made with some leftovers from earlier in the week plus some additional fresh vegetables and other ingredients, to help keep us healthy. It will also taste good.

It took me a while to work out a diet for Lydia that suited her needs and was practical, and the one we’ve arrived at does seem to work.

I change the flavour of her dried food regularly, because none of us want to eat the same things all the time, and I occasionally change brands.  The website ‘www.allaboutdogfood’ offers helpful information with comparisons available for content and cost. I was also fortunate to be given some advice from our local dog food supplier, and I feel confident that Lydia does have a good quality balanced diet which – also important – she enjoys.  She is by no means a fussy eater and also enjoys treats such as dental sticks, pieces of carrot, banana, apple, pear and peach. 

Trev and I generally have a healthy diet, eating little in the way of processed food and plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. I’m conscious of keeping my cholesterol intake down and don’t find this difficult at all.  Tomorrow, Trev is having a steak while I’m having some salmon.  Hardly what I would call ‘hardship’.

We also like our treats and, I think, all the better for being occasional rather than every day.  We do have some ice cream lined up for later, and I can feel a nice glass of red wine coming on …

[i] Biologically appropriate raw food; all good quality ingredients with high protein content and superfood additions, to help keep her healthy

Day 4

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Writing into Life, more

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A friend told me recently that she had started to suffer from anxiety.

It had taken her by surprise as she loves her life, and considers the anxiety to be a chemical imbalance, that she is addressing through prescription medication.

I remember once feeling so frustrated when a GP described my mental health difficulties as a chemical imbalance. For me, medication has only ever been part of the equation, because of the complex nature of my experiences.

While I continue to rely on a daily dose of anti-depressant medication – a maintenance dose – I continue to additionally find my own ways of addressing internal imbalance, through the practises of Qigong, yoga, meditation and so on.

With no pottery session planned this afternoon, I’m booked in for an additional yoga class.

Lydia and I have had a walk together and she is now enjoying some time out in the back yard – her yard.

I’ve done a bit of housework so far, made and drunk some coffee, had some breakfast – a crusty roll with blackcurrant jam.

It may not be the most exciting start to the most exciting day, but it is just a start.

Later …

I do some front yard work  – tidying, sweeping, cleaning – in preparation for the winter ahead. It’s good to do focused physical work, outside in the fresh air. And good to keep up my momentum of ‘a bit at a time’. Things are gradually getting done.

Day 3

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Writing into Life, more

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The theme for tonight’s Buddhist meeting – as it will be for the next few meetings – is ‘embracing change’.

I’ve been doing my best to ‘change my mind’ for a long time. It’s a slow process, for me, but one that I’m committed to. I listen, I meditate, I reflect and, one way or another, I change.

I hope – pray – that the process of change is also bringing about healing. I think it is.

Our usual teacher is away, so the teaching is given by a nun from the Centre.

We meditate on death and impermanence, which may sound morbid, but acknowledging and facing the inevitability of death does make sense to me, and I listen intently.

I don’t feel I have to fully understand and remember everything that I hear, and I certainly don’t. My powers of recall are not that good, and it is a process of gradual assimilation anyway.

There was a lot of emphasis on being able to let go of attachments that we acquire and accumulate in this life.  I’ve not necessarily been that good at acquiring and attaching but then I’ve historically not been very good at letting go either.

After greeting me when I got home, Lydia has now settled down to sleep, on her favourite rug.  She looks totally adorable and relaxed.

I’ll just sit for a while before I too settle down for the night.

I don’t need to set an alarm for tomorrow morning – we can just sleep as long as we want to and get up when we’re ready. Luxury!

Day 2

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Writing into Life, more

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For my age – pushing 70 – I have very little in the way of bodily aches and pains or physical ailments.

I do exercises for my knees – which keep the Baker’s Cysts at the back of them at bay – and my daily walks with Lydia help me to maintain my overall fitness levels. 

The other day, though, I started getting a twinge to one side of my lower back. Nothing drastic, but noticeable.

I couldn’t have asked for more, then, when our Qigong teacher, Sue, in yesterday’s class, talked us through exercises that concentrated on the lower back area.

Qigong movements are very gentle, methodical.  It isn’t always easy to see how they can be of immediate benefit – because they aren’t designed necessarily to be of immediate benefit.  Effects over time can be difficult to recognise because of the very fact that they are gradual, often almost imperceptible.  All I do know, is that I started going to Sue’s classes regularly – weekly – around 15 years ago and I hold them in no small part responsible for some of the health and fitness benefits I now enjoy.

This morning, the twinge in my lower back is less. I didn’t take painkillers and it didn’t just go away on its own.  The combination of Qigong, preceded by yoga – which in turn was a gentle, meditative session – has, I believe, helped.

I meditated again this morning, sitting upright in a chair in the way we have been taught.  Thankfully, there is no expectation of sitting cross legged on the floor. I used to try that, but it ‘killed’ my knees!

Lydia and I have had a woodland walk today. We also have new neighbours, including another dog.  It’s going to be a challenge to train Lydia not to bark at it every time she hears it on the other side of the fence.  We’ll get there though, just as we’re ‘getting there’ with other things. Even if we don’t know where we’re going, were doing our best to make the most of our time together, day by day, step by step.

Day 1

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Writing into Life, more

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Starting this latest 28-day cycle of writing into life on a Mental Health Monday, I have so far meditated and had a walk with Lydia.

I collected her from the boarding kennels this morning where she has been staying for a couple of nights. I had a night out in town with two friends on Saturday and a duvet day on Sunday.

Cocktails and a Thai curry in good company made a welcome change and Lydia had a change of environment as well. We all need it sometimes.

I’m booked into yoga this afternoon, followed by a Qigong class.

I’m struggling with low mood and low energy levels. For now, I don’t think there is anything I can do other than what I am doing.  There are no ‘quick fixes’ so I approach the situation as positively as possible, keeping a focus on health and wellbeing and remembering to be glad that I am so fortunate to have my health and a reasonable level of fitness; not something to be taken for granted.

The day is mild, with blue sky and sunshine, albeit damp from the weekend’s rain. 

Lydia has had her second breakfast – they’d fed her before I picked her up from the kennels this morning but she still demanded – and got – her breakfast ball with her usual supply. We all need a bit of a ‘bonus ball’ sometimes. She’s now outside enjoying being back in her domain.

Over the last couple of weeks, while I’ve had a writing ‘holiday’, I’ve been bringing my focus closer to my own domain: my home; our home. Home isn’t something to be taken for granted either. I’ve always been fortunate to have one, one way or another.

Over the next few months – through the winter – I’m going to concentrate on giving care and attention to the edges and corners in our home – the bits that often get missed with a general sweep and ‘hoover’ round. I’ve never been the best at spring cleaning so I’m going to do it over the winter instead.  Then, when spring comes, I’ll be free to do other things instead.  That’s my plan; that’s what I’ll do. It may not be the most exciting plan on the planet, but it’s mine.

Paperback versions of my two latest books are now available on Amazon:

Rules, Rhymes, Recovery, Recipe, Random: writing into life

https://amzn.eu/d/eYRAkLi

A Woman, a Dog & a Blog: glad about life

https://amzn.eu/d/iLQfyIi

Clay

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 First published 25 July 2021

Today I sat outside turning a piece of clay from one form into another. It’s called ‘art’ and I love it.

I have limited tools and equipment, so improvised, and just became profoundly absorbed in the process of ‘doing’.

The end result may not be classed as a ‘masterpiece’, but it’s my ‘mixed up piece’, and that’s what counts.

I’m looking forward to spending many more happy hours making things out of clay. It’s a wonderful medium to work with, providing all sorts of possibilities to explore.

Poetry & Pottery: The Perfect Partnership

'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

 First published 6 July 2021

1978

1978 was not a good year, for me
even though I hold it dear

Try as I might I could not find the key
to unlock my brain
work out its mystery

Lurching this way and that
never finding a hold
I fell so many times
but got ever more bold

Crashing right down
I broke back to the core
then inched my way through
to daylight once more

The clay in my hand
is the life that I’ve led
I’ve cried, ached and screamed
and wished I was dead

But I never gave up
and I never gave in
I just kept on going
and drank lots of gin

Joking aside –
though I do like a drop –
I feel like I’ve won
I’ve come out on top

For I have love in my life
a treasure most true
I’m here and I’m now
simply human, through and through

2021

 

1978 was the year I graduated with a degree in Ceramics from Bristol Polytechnic. 

I’d reached out to art in my teens as a way of asserting a direction, without knowing where that direction might take me. It was driven by some deep-rooted instinct; an instinct which for a long time I thought had failed me. But it hadn’t.

As it’s turned out, my life has taken many “twists and turns, and loops and leaps”, most of which have left me struggling to find a foothold. Finally, however, I feel I am on firm ground, and astonished to find myself turning back to working with clay, after a break of over 40 years.

What’s even more astonishing is that I’m not only loving working with the medium, I’ve got ideas coming into my head from goodness knows where. I’m not having to push myself just to produce something, anything, as I did when I was at college (although I was proud of what I did produce in the end; it was no easy feat, considering the complexity of mental health problems I was dealing with).

Art didn’t work as a therapy for me when I was younger; the damage went too deep and I had to find ways to dig it out – just like clay has to be dug out.  What I’ve got now is malleable and mouldable in whatever way I choose. I can be creative in any way or ways that suit me; working with clay or words; working with my life.

I hope my pots can be poetic; and that my poetry will continue to be potty.