Maggie Baker writing about … being Glad … about …

Day 24

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Lydia has been less inclined to tug on her lead so far this week, in whatever walking places we’ve been to.

It’s a slow process, unlearning ingrained responses to situations and re-learning new approaches.

I know that myself because that’s what I’ve been doing myself, for a very long time: learning to change negative thought patterns and actions to positive ones.

For Lydia, I’ve taken guidance from a behaviourist and from on-line learning, applying and repeating what I believe are sound principles and recognising that there are no quick-fix solutions.

For myself, I’ve learnt what I could from experience and taken guidance from sources that I believe are sound, including Buddhist teachings and meditation practices.  Again, there are no quick-fix solutions.

It’s hard to find a balance sometimes, between accepting things as they are, and not giving up.

I have by no means given up on anything although, at the moment, I do feel tired, mentally and emotionally.

There is no Buddhist group meeting this week – due to a summer break.

I’ve twice sat down to meditate on my own today, once this morning and again this afternoon. I much prefer to meditate in a group, but the main thing is that I am doing my best to do it on my own, and when I feel tired. 

My ‘old’ way would have been to do nothing because I didn’t know what to do.  I do now.

Day 23

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

The usual Tuesday visit to my friend in the village was different today.

She is currently in a care home, arranged by her Personal Carer, J.

J. has power of attorney; M. has no nearby relatives. J. has been looking out for M. and looking after her for years. It would be difficult, I think, to find a more caring, kind and considerate friend than J.

Even so, it’s a big change for M.

Returning to my own home, I have a parcel waiting for me, containing some dental chews and chewing horns for Lydia. I give her one of the horns straight away and it’s keeping her happily occupied. Lydia’s happy, in her home, which was new and strange to her at one point. It was a big change for her coming here.

I hope M’s new home will be a good one for her.

Day 22

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Despite having had the luxury of a camp bed at the weekend, today I woke feeling aches and pains in places where I don’t usually feel aches and pains.

It was just as well, then, that I had my usual Monday afternoon yoga and Qigong classes to go to. Both proved exceptional in helping me to relax and re-energise.

In the relaxation session at the end of yoga, I had the added benefit of a brief shoulder massage by the teacher.

In Qigong we continued to work on the wonderful movement of ‘dragon’, building up to it in ways that encourage flexibility and focus.

I then took Lydia for a walk in the wind.

It was a warm but quite strong wind and I think we were both invigorated by it.

As I write, it feels like my whole body, breath and being have had good workouts.

Further nourishment comes from the broccoli soup that Trev has made for tea.

All in all its been a healthy Monday.

Day 21

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

We’re home!

The joys of camping are many, and we were blessed with fine weather and fun this weekend. Even so, it’s good to be back to home comforts: a shower, electricity, a proper bed.

It’s been a great couple of days though.

I’ve met up with old friends, made some new ones and put my vote in for a repeat next year.

Lydia might even be able to join us by then. We’ll see. For now I’m just looking forward to seeing her tomorrow, and we’ll keep doing what we do, day by day, step by step.

Day 20

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

The breakfast table

We’re camped.

The weather is wonderful, company convivial, fish and chips last night were fabulous, and I’m sure tonight’s barbecue will be even better.

I know Lydia wouldn’t have been able to relax here but she’s in good hands, and we are too.

Day 19

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Photo by Rachel Claire on Pexels.com

Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

I took Lydia to the boarding kennels again this morning, for a three-night stay.  It’s the first time she’s been back so soon after her last stay, but this weekend Trev and I are going camping.

We took Lydia camping not long after we first got her, and she was very anxious about it all.  She did very well on the whole, sleeping between us in the tent, and I put up windbreaker screens so that she had some space just outside where she couldn’t see other dogs. We also camped as far away from other people as possible. Even so, I had to take her out in the car for her to do her ‘poopie’ and overall it wasn’t the best experience for any of us.  So, this weekend, she’s back with her friends at the kennels and we’re meeting up with friends in a field.

I thought my camping days were over, not feeling inspired or enthused as I used to feel at the prospect of sleeping in a tent.  However, we received an invitation from friends to join them and others for a gathering this weekend, and it should be a good one.

We’ve got plenty of essential supplies: wine, beer, whisky and gin.  We’re all chipping in for a barbecue on Saturday night and our remit was to bring sauces.  So, I bought ketchup, brown, salad cream, mayo, various types of barbecue sauce, some relish and some hot.  I hope I’ve catered for all tastes.

I’m pretty sure there’s going to be a campfire, singing and hopefully lots of laughing. I think it’s going to be a very good weekend.

Day 18

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Waking but not rested, I refer again to the RARE mantra this morning. (https://gladabout.life/2025/07/30/day-17-2/)

It helps me to recognise that the anxiety I have about being tired – and fear of never not being tired ever again – is a delusional thought.

I can then accept being tired for the time being and reduce the impact of my negative thoughts by thinking about something else.

Lydia and I have a dog field session booked for 9.30am so after a slow cup of tea (I don’t do quick these days) I get her ready to go out.

She is such a good girl when I call her to put on her harness and she then sits at the back door without me even having to ask her, waiting patiently until I give her the “OK”.

It’s great to see her bounding around the field as soon as I’ve taken off her harness and lead. She is so excited to catch up on all the smells and she does what she wants to do while I do some knee exercises.

I’ve realised this week that my knees are much improved in flexibility and I want to keep them that way. It’s so easy to become complacent and forget to do my exercises, but I need my knees!

Lydia gets some cardio-vascular exercise when she chases vans that pass on the track that runs along the other side of the fence, and follows my suggestion to have a drink of water after her exertions. We do a bit of “heel” reinforcement work and she’s very enthusiastic about taking the treats from my hand.

There is a moment, in the field, when the warmth of the sun combined with the gentle breeze feel absolutely perfectly balanced. It is a beautiful day.

Back home, Lydia has her breakfast and I have mine:  coffee – made by my partner, Trev – and fruity, nutty flapjacks – made by me.

Later I do some garden tidying. Lydia helps me as she often does when I’m working in the garden, and digs away, covering the area I’ve just brushed clean with fresh soil – how kind of her!

Day 17

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Waking up this morning I reflect – as I often do – on how fortunate I am to have access to the Buddhist teachings that I have access to.

We’re on a short break from the mid-week classes that I usually go to, but my mind turns to two of the mantras that I have been learning from most recently.  One is in the form of an acronym: RARE.

Recognise

Accept

Reduce

Eliminate

‘Recognise’ is to recognise a negative thought as delusional.

‘Accept’ is to accept the situation in which the thought is arising.

‘Reduce’ is to reduce the impact of the delusional thought.

‘Eliminate’ is to eliminate the delusional thought.

In my experience it can be extremely difficult to identify a thought as delusional because our thought patterns are often so ingrained that we don’t even notice them when they do arise.  However, I’ve recently found that if I start to feel anxious, this alerts me to potential negative/delusional thoughts that are giving rise to the anxiety.  I can then turn my attention to my breath, engage in a short meditation and find that the anxiety starts to abate.

I’ll continue to do what I can to recognise, accept, reduce and eliminate my delusional thoughts.

Most of us associate ‘www’ with ‘world wide web’ but an alternative presented in a Buddhist teaching recently is: ‘welcome wholeheartedly whatever’.

The nun who gave the teaching presented an example of a monk who lives at the Centre who has significant paralysis, is unable to walk and experiences constant pain. Apparently, he affirms the ‘welcome wholeheartedly whatever’ mantra and I’ve found this immensely humbling and inspirational.

I don’t know how things might unfold in my life – none of us do – but if I keep meditating, keep my focus on positives and aim to eliminate old habits where negative thinking takes hold, then I’ll be better prepared to welcome whatever does lie ahead with an open heart.

That’s what I’m aiming for. That’s what I’ll do.     

Day 16

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

After taking Lydia on our woodland walk this morning, I visited a friend in the village this afternoon.

We met through a befriending service and it feels like one of the best things I’ve done since I retired from doing paid work a few years ago. 

The service sets clear parameters, which means that I visit once a week for two hours a week. This has been good for me as I’ve had a lot going on in my life and I tend to try and do too much. 

The friend who I visit has dementia. She forgets things, struggles to concentrate and has lost a lot of confidence.  She has also lost through death the people who have been dearest to her in her life.  I’m not a counsellor, nor a carer, but I do try to reassure her and rebuild her confidence.

We usually have a few laughs when we’re together; she’s got a great sense of humour and a very kind heart.  It was lovely today to see her little cat cuddling up to her. It was like the cat wanted her to know how much she loves her.  That was how I saw it, anyway, and I told her so.

Coming home, and having not had any lunch, I ate a large bowl of salad greens that another friend has given me, freshly grown by her.  With some ‘French’ dressing – made from grain mustard, Italian olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a sprinkle of brown sugar – they tasted delicious.  A healthy snack to top-off a lovely afternoon. Even better – my partner is making us humous for tea.

Lydia is lying quietly by the open back door – she’s been outside again most of the day. She’s not in any hurry for her tea and neither am I. We can relax and enjoy some ‘Maggie and Lydi time’ too.

Day 15

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

“She’s a beautiful soul.”

These were words spoken to me this morning when I picked Lydia up from the kennels where she’d been staying over the weekend.

I’ve always thought this myself, because she is.

We had a good walk together, before I took her home, and she’s enjoyed much of the day outside in the yard, in what is warm and rather windy weather.

After a two-week break I resumed my usual ‘Mental Health Monday’ activities this afternoon: yoga followed by Qigong.

So, I’ve had two-and-a-half hours of concentrated activity for health and wellbeing with the added benefit – for brief periods – of being a tiger, a dog, a cat, a tree, a warrior and a dragon.

I don’t feel a need to compare and say which of these I’ve preferred being, but I did like the dragon movements.

I can now relax into a mellow evening knowing that I have given important attention to my musculoskeletal system as well as my mind and spirit. I think my girl with the beautiful soul is quite relaxed too; still in the back yard; still enjoying the warm and windy weather.