Category: recovery

Day 26

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Writing into Life, more

It was damp this morning, but mild and bright, when Lydia and I set off to the dog field that I’d booked for us; not too early.

We hadn’t been to this particular dog field for a while, as I know Lydia likes to race cars that pass on the other side of the fence of another dog park that I take her to, and it gives her a good workout. It’s good to have a change though, and she was wearing her happy legs as she sniffed and mooched about the field that we went to today.

Once home, with Lydia nudging her breakfast ball around the lounge, I reheated chips from last night’s fish supper for my own breakfast, giving them just short of 2 minutes at full power in the microwave.  They were sizzling and tasty, topped off with a light sprinkling of salt and vinegar and a splash of salad cream. A strong cup of tea completed my morning meal and I then went back to bed to rest for a while, to ensure that I’ll have enough energy reserves for more painting that I’m planning on doing tomorrow.

Suitably rested, I went out and bought in some groceries.  Somehow, as I was carrying the bags into the house, I dropped a container of milk, which split, spilling milk all over the floor.  So, I set to, soaking it up with towels and mopping the floor before putting the shopping away.  I managed to get some of the milk in a jug before it was all lost so, hey, no point in crying over spilt milk!

I decided to enter a poetry competition – who knows, I might just win – and chose three that have not previously been published by me or anywhere else.

As it’s Halloween, at Trev’s suggestion I bought some sweets as treats to give out in case we get any ‘trick or treat’ callers tonight. We haven’t had them here on previous years but you never know, so I have put them in a jar by the door, ready, just in case.

I’m doing an easy tea tonight: prepared spinach and ricotta tortellini with a simple tomato sauce that I’m making myself. I’ve chopped up and fried an onion till soft, added some chopped garlic and a tin of chopped tomatoes, plus a vegetable stock cube – chopped into small pieces – a splash each of soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce, a good squirt of tomato puree and a small sprinkling of brown sugar, to just take the edge off the tartness of the tomatoes.  It’s bubbling away now and I’ll finish it by using a hand-held blender to make it smooth.  I think it should be tasty and nutritious along with the pasta. 

Having unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and set the towels that I used to soak up the milk on a wash, I feel fairly up to date with what I need to do today so I think another rest is in order.

Lydia is lying by the back door.  I’ll see if she wants to go outside for a while before I go upstairs.

Day 24

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Tonight’s Buddhist class completes the five-week course on ‘Embracing Change’.

Change can happen in so many ways, on so many levels. 

In my experience, I have not always known why I have not been able to ‘let go’ and move on at times. I think, now, I have more insight into why, and it’s because of the deep inner healing that I needed to do.  It’s understandable to want to do that in a safe way, at a safe time, so that when the wound is exposed, it won’t be subject to any more damage.

Sometimes, however, circumstances force us to push through pain on a survival basis. How amazing then, to be in those circumstances and somehow find that you have got access to the support that you need to heal, from sources that in the past you could not have even imagined existed, yet somehow, they do. That’s where I’m at now. 

And, for now, I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing; different things on different days. Today it was painting, white emulsion on walls; tomorrow I’ll go to pottery in the afternoon.  Walking Lydia, of course, in the mornings, is such a good thing, I’m pretty sure for both of us. Meditating, practising yoga and Qigong, listening to the teachings of Buddha passed on through the Kadampa lineage. Meeting up with friends, chatting with neighbours. More painting of walls until that job is done, then I’ll move on to do something else.  I know this is all leading to further change, and I am becoming more able to embrace the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

Day 23

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Writing into Life, more

I rarely remember dreams but woke this morning from a deeper sleep than I’ve had for a long time, remembering one.

The sense of relief that comes from sleep is immense. The strategy of reducing my caffeine intake, limiting myself to just two or three cups of tea a day – in the morning – and no coffee, is starting to pay off.

It is by no means the only part of my strategy, as limiting or eliminating caffeine altogether isn’t necessarily going to do the trick without other factors kicking in, in my experience anyway.

For me, I know it is a combination of physical and creative and other activities.

It also depends on the type and context of activities.

The heavy lifting and shifting I’ve done recently, clearing stuff out of house and garage and taking them to the tip, are good for the musculoskeletal system, but my nearly 70-year-old back was giving me a few warning signs.  A few stretches at home helped, but not as much as the yoga class I went to yesterday.  There has been no Qigong this week as we do classes in groups of three, then have a break, then back for another group of three.  This works very well and yesterday meant that I had time to do a charity shop drop-off, again with more lifting and carrying – a big bag and a box – and then go shopping for our tea, a stir fry that I cooked using a combination of a bag of pre-made sauce, some hoisin sauce from a bottle, and some dark soy sauce.  I usually make a stir-fry sauce from scratch, using a combination of lemon or lime juice, ginger, garlic if we have any, and again soy sauce; also a bit of brown sugar, salt and pepper.  However, due to my having had a cold, I thought I’d make it a bit easier for myself.  I also took the time to buy a large pot of matt white emulsion, some concentrated sugar soap and a precision paint brush for edges. This will enable me to start doing the painting work I have lined up for later in the week.

So, for now, I’m keeping my strength up and the aches and pains at bay, glad to be able to enjoy a walk with Lydia on this bright and sunny, if somewhat breezy, morning. I always feel invigorated after I come back from our walks, and I now have a good little routine that involves putting her poopie bags in the outside bin, washing my hands, filling and setting off her breakfast ball for her to nudge around the lounge, putting a chicken wing or drumstick (sometimes a lamb rib) in a cool bag for later, so that it defrosts and hopefully gets to room temperature but doesn’t go off, and making sure that there’s a further supply of her raw food starting to defrost in the fridge.

Today I didn’t feel like sitting down for breakfast so I put some mashed banana on toast that I’d spread with olive spread and did some tidying up in the kitchen while I was eating it, unloading and loading up the dishwasher and a few other things.  A dishwasher is a relatively recent acquisition for us and it makes such a difference.  

Later today I’ll visit M in her care home.  We’ll go for coffee and a cake but I’ll make sure I get decaff.  It’s the way forward for me, for the time being at least.

Trev has done some more clearing out as well, which puts us in a good position for me to start painting the walls by the stairs and in the landing area.   I painted through all the rest of the house when we moved in, a section at a time as I wasn’t feeling well and I could only do a section at a time.  I never did get round to doing the walls up the stairs and on the landing though and since then there’ve been a lot of things going on.  I now, finally, have time, energy and inclination to do that job.  It shouldn’t take long but then there’s no need to try and do it in a rush. A bit at a time and it will get done.

Day 22

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Writing into Life, more

I headed up for an early night last night, taking with me a glass of milk.  After drinking some of the milk I set the glass to one side, on my bedside cabinet and settled down. 

It wasn’t long before I heard a slurping sound close to my head. It was the noise that Lydia makes when she’s drinking water out of one of her bowls, but I know her bedroom bowl is close to the foot of the bed and not near my head.  She was drinking my milk!

It represented quite a feat, as she stretched her, albeit long, tongue into the glass.  After an initial pretend curse – “cheeky mare” or something to that effect – I picked up the glass and angled it so that it was easier for her to reach the contents. She slurped away, had a break, and then came back for the rest. She so enjoyed that milk.

A bit later on, I went down and got myself another glass of milk, had a couple of paracetamols and a buttered bread roll and settled myself down again, this time falling asleep and not waking until around 5.30am when a wet nose, attached to a soft muzzle, nuzzled me.

I knew, or was fairly certain, that she didn’t need a wee (or ‘peepie’ as we call it) because she’d been out for one earlier and she can go for hours and hours without needing another.  Going downstairs I opened the back door and, as I thought, she settled down inside the house. She just wanted to pick up on the early morning air.  So, I propped the door open, went back to bed and about half an hour or so later went back downstairs.  Again, as I thought, she was by now curled up in her chair so I closed the back door to keep the heat it. It was a cold morning.

I didn’t get back to sleep but felt reasonably rested after the hours that I’d had.  Later we went for our woodland walk. 

I fancied going out for breakfast, having not had much to eat the day before, so sent a message to Trev and he agreed. After giving Lydia her breakfast ball, and later a dental stick, Trev and I went out and had a full English. It was a very good full English and set me up for the rest of the day.

The rest of the day has involved yoga, taking some Christmas decorations and a Christmas tree to a charity shop, doing some shopping, coming home, and starting to write this post.

I’ve kept some Christmas decorations that have sentimental value for me, and I have another small Christmas tree that I will use this year. It’s good to let go and move on.

Lydia is barking outside. It is a beautiful calm evening. I will make a stir fry for mine and Trev’s tea later but for now, can just enjoy a sense of peace, having done all I can, for today at least.

Day 21

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Writing into Life, more

Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich on Pexels.com

Lydia and I had one of our weekend walks this morning, on a quiet track.  It was cold, so I wore a hat. I’d inadvertently shrunk my knitted winter hat in a too-hot wash a couple of weeks back, but I found another in the cupboard to keep my head warm.  My cold is on its way out but I still need to keep myself ‘well wrapped up’, as our Mum used to say.

Lydia kept stopping and looking out over the fields at something I couldn’t see, or maybe it wasn’t something she saw either but sensed.  Anyway, we had an easy walk which I needed, then back to a warm house – breakfast for both of us and another cup of tea for me.

Strong tea and freshly brewed coffee are daily pleasures for me, but I’m cutting out coffee at the moment, and only drinking tea in the morning. This is to help me establish a better sleep pattern again.

I did a bit of kitchen tidying and cleaning, loading and unloading the dishwasher and mopping the floor, before going back to bed for more rest.  I have been very sensible in looking after myself while I’ve had this virus working its way through my body, and I do think that is a strategy that is paying off. It can be a bit frustrating, resting, but I know I need to do it at the moment.

Later it was Trev’s turn to take ‘stuff’ to the tip, which is actually a recycling centre, and very well organised for different types of waste, including a ‘waste to energy recovery’ skip for anything that doesn’t fit the recycling categories, such as wood, metal and so on.

I think we’re only a few tip trips short of a good clear-out now.  I have a charity shop run planned tomorrow, and then I’ll buy a pot of paint, to start doing some internal work that needs doing. 

Day 20

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Writing into Life, more

Photo by MART PRODUCTION on Pexels.com

I woke this morning feeling warm and rested, snug and toasty in bed, having slept for a good few hours. The symptoms of my cold are lingering, but I’m confident that I’ve past the point when it could have turned into a cough and possible chest infection.

After our morning walk and with Lydia suitably breakfasted, I make a pan of porridge for me and Trev, enjoying mine lightly salted and finished with brown sugar and some evaporated milk. I set aside a little of the unsweetened porridge for Lydia, so that she can have it as a bit of an extra with her tea. She has very few carbs in her diet generally, and I’m sure she’ll enjoy it for a change.

After going back to bed and resting for a while, I get up and resolve to make further inroads into clearing the garage. It does look a bit daunting when I open the door, but I make a start, and bit by bit make some progress.  This includes demolishing a cupboard with help from my Dad’s old lump hammer that was handily nearby. The cupboard had done sterling work for me for many years, first in my old house and then as garage storage in this one.  The shelves were starting to collapse and it was time for it to go, so I take it to the tip along with some other things that I know I am no longer going to need. After a bit of sweeping and reorganising, the garage now looks in reasonable order, with a few things lined up for me to take to a charity shop on Monday.

The physical effort was good for me and I’m lucky to be strong and fit enough to lift and carry the way I do at my age. I simply take my time, do things at my own pace, and rest when I need to.

So, this afternoon I have rested, leaving me with nothing much more to do this evening than to feed Lydia – she seems quite happy to wait for her tea at the moment – and write this blog. I took some chilli out of the freezer earlier, so Trev and I can have that with some rice when we are ready.

Day 19

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Writing into Life, more

Photo by Angele J on Pexels.com

Last night, I slept.  Not for a full eight hours but for a few hours at least.  It broke the cycle of not sleeping that I’ve had for a week or so, and it helps.

With my cold continuing to do whatever it decides to do, I’m beginning to feel a bit better, but still not up to doing more of the garage clearing that I had planned to do today.  Another rest day  will help me to recover more quickly and put me in a position to do more sooner, rather than later.  

Lydia and I had a bit of a longer walk, though, than we had yesterday and, though chilly initially when we set foot outside the door, it turned into a brighter morning while we were out.

On the way home I bought lemons and honey from the shop at the local petrol station, and also sausages, fresh bread rolls and a baguette, so that Trev and I can have brunch when he gets back from the gym. ‘Feed a cold and starve the flu’ is a phrase I heard long ago, and I have no idea if it is true or not but I am doing what I need to do to look after myself.

After I’d given Lydia her breakfast, and while I was waiting for some ginger to release its wonderful reviving and zingy goodness into a saucepan of boiling water, to add to the honey and lemon concoction for my cold, I cut up some cooked chicken drum fillets that I’d put in the fridge overnight and divided them up into bags for the freezer, keeping one bag out for part of Lydia’s tea tonight.  The juice I cooked them in had turned to jelly, so she can have that as an extra treat of ‘Lydi juice’ later. This is good nourishing broth for her. It was good nourishing and tasty broth that Trev cooked for our tea last night, in the form of broccoli and Stilton soup. It all helps.

Day 18

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Photo by Eriks Abzinovs on Pexels.com

I woke this morning to the sound of heavy shredding.  Contractors next door were clearing the house of ivy and putting it through a machine.  I could almost hear the walls of the house breathe a sigh of relief, as they were exposed to fresh air and sunshine for the first time in years.

Ivy can look attractive – I have set some to grow up and around the front wall and railings of our house – but it needs to be cut back heavily and regularly, otherwise it just takes over.

With my cold still working its way through, I took Lydia for a shorter walk this morning than we usually do, then headed back to bed.

She didn’t seem to mind the shorter walk – she’s such a treasure – and came up to join me in the bedroom, so we’ve both just snoozed and rested on what is, outside, a grey damp day.  Fortunate then, to be warm and comfortable at home with nothing much to do other than boil up some chicken bones to make stock for soup that Trev is going to be making later.

Tomorrow I will be more active; today I’m not.

Day 16

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Writing into Life, more

Up, showered and dressed before 9am, I had a couple of cups of tea before heading out with Lydia. 

Seeing a horse and rider coming towards us at one point during our walk, I headed down into a dip, slipping on to my arse and scrambling up the other side, Lydia following on the way down and leading on the way up.

We had cover behind some trees but she was still aware of the horse and rider as they passed. I was so proud of her, as I encouraged her to “sit” – with a treat-reward, of course – and then “wait”, repeating this a few times so that she didn’t have to wait too long between treat-rewards. She didn’t bark or lunge at all, and we waited a few moments before doing the dip and up again back to where we were before – again with me on my bum for the ‘down’ bit.

Later in the morning I did another tip run, clearing stuff out of the garage.  There’s more to do but it was a good load off my mind.

After a short rest I changed my, by now, muddy trousers, put on some make-up, made sure my hair was OK, then went out to see my friend M. We went out for coffee and scones, to a Morrisons café which offers great value, lovely scones and refillable mugs of coffee. The company and conversation were the best bit though. M. has a heart of gold.

After doing some shopping on the way home, giving Lydia her tea and putting the dinner in the oven – a chicken with vegetables, all roasted together in a dish – I did the final preparations for taking some pots to a small gallery tomorrow – the Dovecot Gallery in Styrrup near Doncaster. They are to be featured in their Christmas show/sale, so it’s good to be prepared well in advance.

They are small pots, and not perfectly formed by any means, but hopefully that is all part of their appeal. We shall see.