Tag: company

Day 16

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

After taking Lydia on our woodland walk this morning, I visited a friend in the village this afternoon.

We met through a befriending service and it feels like one of the best things I’ve done since I retired from doing paid work a few years ago. 

The service sets clear parameters, which means that I visit once a week for two hours a week. This has been good for me as I’ve had a lot going on in my life and I tend to try and do too much. 

The friend who I visit has dementia. She forgets things, struggles to concentrate and has lost a lot of confidence.  She has also lost through death the people who have been dearest to her in her life.  I’m not a counsellor, nor a carer, but I do try to reassure her and rebuild her confidence.

We usually have a few laughs when we’re together; she’s got a great sense of humour and a very kind heart.  It was lovely today to see her little cat cuddling up to her. It was like the cat wanted her to know how much she loves her.  That was how I saw it, anyway, and I told her so.

Coming home, and having not had any lunch, I ate a large bowl of salad greens that another friend has given me, freshly grown by her.  With some ‘French’ dressing – made from grain mustard, Italian olive oil, balsamic vinegar and a sprinkle of brown sugar – they tasted delicious.  A healthy snack to top-off a lovely afternoon. Even better – my partner is making us humous for tea.

Lydia is lying quietly by the open back door – she’s been outside again most of the day. She’s not in any hurry for her tea and neither am I. We can relax and enjoy some ‘Maggie and Lydi time’ too.

Day 9

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Lydia is very calm on our walk this morning; much calmer than she’s been on a walk for a very long time. It’s lovely just to amble along with her, stop when she sniffs at and forages blackberries, feel no need to do much other than just walk along with my dog beside me. I tell her what a lovely dog she is and let her know how much I’m enjoying my walk with her.

I also thank her when we get back to the car. I want her to feel appreciated. She is.

The sense of mellowness and calm continues throughout the day.

I visit a friend in the village. We also go for a walk together, and we thank each other to show our appreciation of each other’s company.  It’s a lovely thing, to enjoy the company of another; nothing to prove; just a sense of being together, being alive and being there for each other, even if it’s just for that day.

As I write, Lydia is enjoying being outside on a day which is warmish with a soothing breeze.

I’m enjoying being inside, with the door open.

A lingering sadness remains and always will, but the nagging, aching grief has gone, as each day brings something new, or not new. It doesn’t matter. Each day just brings.

No such thing

There’s no such thing
As an ordinary day
Each day awakens
In its own way

Some days it rains
Some days it’s sunny
Some days are serious
And nothing seems funny

There’s no so thing
As an ordinary day
Each day is different
In its own way

Some days are lonely
Some days are glad
Some days are joyful
Others are sad

There’s no such thing
As an ordinary day
Each day unfolds
In its own way

Some days are busy
Others are slow
Some days it’s hard
To know which way to go

There’s no such thing
As an ordinary day
Each one just passes
In its own way

***

And when the day
Is done and gone
We sleep
Until another day
That isn’t ordinary
Comes along

Maggie Baker
April 2025

Day 21

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Continuing the story of Lydia and me

Keeping things simple is key for me just now. I can’t cope with complicated nor do I want to.

What better way, then, than to enjoy the company of friends, as I have done this weekend.

Yesterday I visited a friend – a fellow Ceramic Artist – at the Dovecot Gallery, near Doncaster, where she was exhibiting. It was a summer show in a garden setting, full of colour and creativity.

Today a friend and I visited a friend of hers. We sat together for about four hours, talking. Just talking. It was lovely to have a three-way conversation, each of us bringing in thoughts and ideas from our lives and experience.

My Ceramic Artist friend is a year or two older than me, so in her early 70’s. She started out in her career with clay just a few years ago. Rarely have I come across anyone more passionate about what they do.

My friend’s friend is about 10 years younger than us. Unlike me, she doesn’t enjoy good physical health, but she doesn’t let that stop her expressing herself through her art. She is a talented Textile Artist as well as a dog lover and owner of four canine companions.

While I aim in this blog to be positive about pushing through into a position of mental health recovery that I’ve been working towards most of my life, at the moment I’m struggling to get my brain to function.

Despite enjoying the company of friends, despite the wonderful weather, despite the woodland walk I had with Lydia this morning, I’ve hit a wall.

At least though, now, I know it won’t last, that I just need to rest – which I will – and tomorrow will be another day.

Looking across at Lydia, as I write, she is looking back at me. I’ll give her some more “rub-a-dub-dub” massages later, to help soothe her vagus nerve and I’ll keep doing what I need to do to help soothe mine too.

Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines – now available in paperback: https://amzn.eu/d/eQ2sWjU.

The Kindle version is currently for sale at £0.99 on a Kindle Countdown deal https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk.

Lydia, Me & our Family of Three

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Lydia, 2025

When I first started writing this blog I had just retired and it was something that I wanted to do.

I thought it would help me to complete a cycle of mental health recovery that I’d started many years previously, and that in writing about my experiences it might help others too.

I had no idea then just how far away I was from the summit of my recovery mountain, or just how many sheer cliff faces I was going to have to climb to be able to finally enjoy the view.

That was over five years ago.

I found no easy answers but knew that I had to keep going, and I did.

At 69 I have no wish or need now to climb any more mountains, either in my head or with my feet. However, my journey does continue, day by day, step by step, and I will continue to write about it and share it with anyone who is interested.

My new e-book, publishing on Amazon for Kindle 5th June, gives insights into how Lydia, Me & our Family of Three have recently  made our final ascent:

‘Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines’

https://amzn.eu/d/iAQbck8