Lydia has been less inclined to tug on her lead so far this week, in whatever walking places we’ve been to.
It’s a slow process, unlearning ingrained responses to situations and re-learning new approaches.
I know that myself because that’s what I’ve been doing myself, for a very long time: learning to change negative thought patterns and actions to positive ones.
For Lydia, I’ve taken guidance from a behaviourist and from on-line learning, applying and repeating what I believe are sound principles and recognising that there are no quick-fix solutions.
For myself, I’ve learnt what I could from experience and taken guidance from sources that I believe are sound, including Buddhist teachings and meditation practices. Again, there are no quick-fix solutions.
It’s hard to find a balance sometimes, between accepting things as they are, and not giving up.
I have by no means given up on anything although, at the moment, I do feel tired, mentally and emotionally.
There is no Buddhist group meeting this week – due to a summer break.
I’ve twice sat down to meditate on my own today, once this morning and again this afternoon. I much prefer to meditate in a group, but the main thing is that I am doing my best to do it on my own, and when I feel tired.
My ‘old’ way would have been to do nothing because I didn’t know what to do. I do now.
Writing a blog post every day is a challenge I’ve set myself, after several years of only being able to write a blog post every few weeks or months. It’s taken a long time to get my brain to work the way it is working now, and writing has played an important part of my recovery journey.
Getting stuff out of my head and on to paper – however, incoherent and uncoordinated that stuff was – helped with clearing out the crap. I started the process long ago, it’s only now that I can write with a sense of connectedness to my self, and a sense that it might also help to connect with others.
A lot of people may think that they “can’t write”, like a lot of people think that they “can’t sing”, or draw, or paint, or do anything much at all.
We often judge and self-limit, at least in part because we’ve been previously judged and limited by people who wanted to control us, who didn’t want to feel threatened by our presence; our potential.
I know now, quite categorically and with absolute certainty, that I can sing.
I may not sing in a way that other people would consider to be ‘in tune’ or appealing, but that doesn’t matter. I can sing.
My favourite song to sing is ‘Fairytale of New York’ by The Pogues. I used to sing it every year at work, with my mate Dave. I last sang it – loud and strong – at a Hen do.
I know also that I can write. I write because I want to and I hope that my writing may also help anyone reading it to find the sense of self that I have done, in a world that for many years didn’t make sense to me at all.
I’ve struggled all my life to identify with any kind of role; but I do now identify with the self-appointed roles that I have: writer, artist and dog trainer (not necessarily in that order and with no qualifications whatsoever for the latter).
I’ve had holding ‘roles’ before, that were part of my development and needed to be, but they have all led up to this, and the work I do now, with words, with clay and with my dog.
My knee is healing, and getting stronger, each passing day”
This affirmation has been coming into my head this morning and I kept saying it to myself, over and over again, as I drove to the walking spot for Lydia and me.
I also kept saying it over and over to myself as I was walking with her. And as she was walking with me, she was walking easily to heel most of the time.
I reinforced this with occasional reminders: “heel – yes – good girl”/treat. But she seemed happy to fall in easily by my side with a loose lead, and we had a lovely walk together in the sunshine, with a light breeze.
I’m looking into how I can do more work with Lydia’s vagus nerve, and more work with my own nervous system, dysregulated after years of doing my best to address compounded complex sets of difficult circumstances.
The website, stuffofsuccess.com, identifies a number of ways that a dog’s vagus nerve can be re-set or stimulated:
1. Learn to read their body language. Anxious dogs tend to drool, pant heavily, pace back and forth, or whine when they’re feeling anxious. Some dogs may tuck their tail between their legs or pin down their ears. Pay close attention to your dog’s body language so you can react quickly to help settle them down.
2. Show them some physical affection. Few things get a dog to calm down faster than the owner’s touch. Pet parents can help alleviate their dogs’ stress by holding them or petting them during stressful events.
3. Put on some classical music. Music therapy has been shown to work for some anxious dogs. Dogs with mild separation anxiety may benefit from music therapy when they’re left at home alone.
4. Try aromatherapy. Use an essential oil diffuser to fill the air with calming aromas such as chamomile or lavender. You can also try diffusing synthetic pheromones that can help calm dogs.
5. Provide a calm, safe place. If your dog’s anxiety is triggered by thunderstorms or loud noises like fireworks, it’s important that your dog feels safe when these triggers occur. Dogs’ ears are much more sensitive than human ears, so consider placing a white noise machine in a cozy spot in the house to drown out the noises that are scaring them. Keep stimuli to a minimum.
6. Dress your dog in a calming vest. Calming vests wrap around your dog, offering a consistent level of pressure that can make them feel calm during stressful situations.
7. Provide proper socialization. Exposing puppies to a wide array of social situations can help stave off anxiety at a young age, but you may want to skip the dog park. Provide socialization in a more controlled environment first. Older dogs who may have pre-existing traumas or phobias may need the help of a trained behaviorist.
8. Make sure hyper dogs get enough exercise. Sometimes the best thing for a hyperactive dog is to let them get their energy out through exercise. If your dog is exhibiting destructive behaviors at home—chewing, jumping, biting—they likely have pent-up energy that needs to be exhausted. Take them for a walk or give them some extra playtime to help bring down their stress level.
9. Avoid eye contact with hyper dogs. Dogs love attention, but sometimes this can be counterproductive. Hyper dogs who are exhibiting anxious behaviors may feel validated when they receive attention while acting out. Instead, try to ignore a hyper dog until they calm down. Then reward them for calming down with lots of eye contact and dog treats.
10. Give them calming supplements. Chamomile, pet-friendly CBD oils, and melatonin are all good options for helping lower your dog’s heart rate. Check with your veterinarian before giving your dog any over-the-counter supplements to ensure you’re giving your dog the correct dose.
11. Consider anxiety medication. If most calming techniques are not working to calm your dog down, talk to a veterinarian about getting your dog a prescription anxiety medication.
Of these, I haven’t done any work with her so far on 4, 6 and 11. I do occasionally burn a scented candle or some joss sticks in the house, but generally the house is a calming environment for Lydia.
If she was demonstrating anxiety all the time, at home and during walks outside generally, I would consider anxiety medication. But she’s so much calmer than she used to be when we’re outside, that I would be reluctant to go down that route because of potential side effects. We’ve recently consulted a behaviourist regarding her reactivity to other dogs, and we continue to put into practice the techniques identified. Therefore I’m going to do more work with her on ‘massage and gentle pressure’ as my identified priority for the time being.
Ear massage, neck and throat massage and acupressure & TTouch are identified on stuffofsucess.com as techniques that focus on nerve stimulation, for example using “light circular motions along the spine and near the ears”.
I don’t know what TTouch is so will do some more research to find out. In the meantime, I can do more of what I’ve been doing on ear, neck and throat massage.
Having done that bit of research, and identified a priority to help Lydia feel more relaxed, I can now look forward to a bit of relaxation for myself for the rest of the day.
We have a neighbour coming round to enjoy the sunshine with us. Warm sausage rolls, cold beer, potato salad and coleslaw. It’s going to be a good afternoon.
Glad About 
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