My car slid on ice this morning when I was driving back from walking Lydia, after taking her to the groomers.
Vicky, as always, did an amazing job in keeping Lydia trimmed and clipped, and Lydia enjoyed the extra treats.
The K9 bridle that I’d ordered for her arrived and I tried it on (her, not me!). She seemed not too unhappy but that’s in the house – we’ll see how we fare when her sniffing instincts come into full play tomorrow on our walk.
Tired today, I’ve rested a lot, getting up to eat some birthday cake that my friend kindly bought for me – complete with candles. I blew them out and made my wish.
I drank the rest of the birthday fizz that another friend had given me, also trying out some sour cherry gin. I discovered that it pairs very well with chocolate, and not on a small-plate basis!
It’s still cold outside but the house has warmed up again. It’s amazing what a difference central heating makes; so glad we had our gas fire to fall back on though.
I headed up for an early night last night, taking with me a glass of milk. After drinking some of the milk I set the glass to one side, on my bedside cabinet and settled down.
It wasn’t long before I heard a slurping sound close to my head. It was the noise that Lydia makes when she’s drinking water out of one of her bowls, but I know her bedroom bowl is close to the foot of the bed and not near my head. She was drinking my milk!
It represented quite a feat, as she stretched her, albeit long, tongue into the glass. After an initial pretend curse – “cheeky mare” or something to that effect – I picked up the glass and angled it so that it was easier for her to reach the contents. She slurped away, had a break, and then came back for the rest. She so enjoyed that milk.
A bit later on, I went down and got myself another glass of milk, had a couple of paracetamols and a buttered bread roll and settled myself down again, this time falling asleep and not waking until around 5.30am when a wet nose, attached to a soft muzzle, nuzzled me.
I knew, or was fairly certain, that she didn’t need a wee (or ‘peepie’ as we call it) because she’d been out for one earlier and she can go for hours and hours without needing another. Going downstairs I opened the back door and, as I thought, she settled down inside the house. She just wanted to pick up on the early morning air. So, I propped the door open, went back to bed and about half an hour or so later went back downstairs. Again, as I thought, she was by now curled up in her chair so I closed the back door to keep the heat it. It was a cold morning.
I didn’t get back to sleep but felt reasonably rested after the hours that I’d had. Later we went for our woodland walk.
I fancied going out for breakfast, having not had much to eat the day before, so sent a message to Trev and he agreed. After giving Lydia her breakfast ball, and later a dental stick, Trev and I went out and had a full English. It was a very good full English and set me up for the rest of the day.
The rest of the day has involved yoga, taking some Christmas decorations and a Christmas tree to a charity shop, doing some shopping, coming home, and starting to write this post.
I’ve kept some Christmas decorations that have sentimental value for me, and I have another small Christmas tree that I will use this year. It’s good to let go and move on.
Lydia is barking outside. It is a beautiful calm evening. I will make a stir fry for mine and Trev’s tea later but for now, can just enjoy a sense of peace, having done all I can, for today at least.
Waking this morning with a feeling of anxiety, my thoughts turn to the teaching and discussions at last night’s Buddhist meeting.
After I mentioned that the teachings and practices have been helping to lift me out of depression, another member of the group mentioned that she experiences anxiety rather than depression. The two often go together. In my case, I didn’t start to get any real sense of anxiety until after the depression started to lift. It hit me like a brick at the time: a traumatising blast of raw fear. Since then, I have been working on the fear and that too is usually in abeyance these days. This morning the anxiety is more in my body than my mind and I turn my thoughts to other things, other people: friends and people I know; close and not so close.
After showering, I do a quick clean of the bathroom; just enough to tide it over while I’m still in rest and recharge mode. A bit at a time stops it from building up and then seeming like it’s too much to tackle.
I’m doing the same with my emotional and psychological journey: a bit at a time now, after feeling so overwhelmed in the now distant past that I didn’t know where to start. Except that I did start – somewhere – and I kept going, am keeping going.
It’s pottery for me this afternoon. Trev is going to visit Lyme Regis, via a scenic route. Lydia is outside barking. She’ll be on her own for a few hours while I’m out so she may as well get a bit of fresh air and let off a bit of steam before I go.
I’ll probably have beans on toast for tea. I like beans on toast. I may well also go for a large gin and tonic. I like gin and tonic too. Alcohol, of course, isn’t the answer, but it is a solution and one that can be very enjoyable if not over-indulged. I recognise that it is only a temporary source of ‘happiness’ but it is a pleasure I can partake in for now, and tonight I probably will.
Glad About 
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