Writing into Life
After yesterday’s sensation of clarity and light emerging, today brings an inner pull into heavy and dark.
Recognising this as part of a process is important. The dark thoughts are the deluded thoughts; the process of moving from dark to light takes time and effort; practice, patience and persistence.
Following an early visit with Lydia to Vicky the groomer and then a walk, after breakfast – kindly cooked for me by Trev in the form of porridge and a cup of fresh coffee – I went back to bed for a few hours. Lydia was also happy to rest.
It’s unusual for me, these days, to do this. I do generally need to go to bed early and get up late when I can, but this morning it’s fair to say that I felt a pull into dark at a deep level and decided to rest. I have enough positive activity built into my week generally to be able to give in to that inward pull occasionally, and today I needed to just be with it.
Yesterday I missed both yoga and Qigong as I had to get my car fixed. I think this may have played no small part in how I feel today. However, after a couple of hours resting, I get up, brush my hair, put on some make up, give Lydia some fuss, open the back door so that she can enjoy the fresh air, and start writing.
Writing is helping me to process, just like other things are. I’m visiting M in her care home this afternoon and we should be able to go outside into the garden as we usually do on a fine day. I enjoy reading to her; short stories from a magazine. She usually dozes off when I do, which I take as no reflection on my reading style, just a sign that she is relaxed and comfortable in my company. I hope so.
Before heading out I remember to meditate. I don’t have to sit cross-legged – thank goodness, because I couldn’t – but adopt a comfortable seated upright posture and focus on my breath. Fresh air coming through the back door helps.
Glad About 
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