Pottery & Poetry & Life
Writing into Life, more
After dropping a collection of small pots off at the Dovecot Gallery near Doncaster this afternoon, I began to succumb to the symptoms of a cold. So it’s an early night for me. I’ll miss the Buddhist class but know that I made the right decision not to go.
Writing into Life, more
The theme for the poetry group meeting today was ‘food’. We feasted on each other’s interpretations, and as always it was a very friendly and welcoming experience.
Coming home, I did a few practical things around the house, including making a meatloaf for dinner.
Lydia and I have had a quiet day together. She did do quite a bit of barking outside but has just had her tea and is now licking her paws and front legs. She is so good at self care. The vet commented on how clean her ears were at her last health check and I was proud to say that she did it all by herself. Such a clever girl. That’s my Lydia.
Writing into Life
Lydia and I did a double circuit of our woodland walk this morning. It was good walking weather, neither too warm nor cold, and she was doing really well with her “heel” work, tugging on the lead only a little but also at times pulling herself into the “heel” position, which I was quick to reinforce with the reward of a treat (or three). She’s not just a “good girl”, she’s the best girl (but then I’m biased).
I’m rewarding myself with the treats of a yoga class followed by a Qigong class this afternoon.
I keep to the routine of my ‘Mental Health Mondays’ most weeks, providing the classes are on. It makes for a great start to the week, working at deep levels which, combined with meditation, help me to push through on positives.
That doesn’t mean that I’m always ‘doing stuff’. It just means that I’m working on training my mind to not revert to the negative thought patterns that I grew up with, so that I can move forward in different ways, taking care of my body at the same time as I need it to carry me through.
I’ve taken a further positive step by applying to do some volunteering at the Buddhist Centre.
My offer is one afternoon a month for now, as I don’t want to over-commit on top of existing commitments, particularly since I’m still working through a phase of burnout. But being at the Centre yesterday helped to remind me how replenishing an atmosphere it is, and I have a lot of skills learned in my working life that could be put to good use.
It isn’t always easy, during retirement, to re-establish ourselves after the rigours of working life have taken their toll. I don’t want or need too many things going on but I do need to feel that there is some meaning and purpose in what I do and why I do it.
Continuing the story of Lydia and Me
I needed a rest today; Lydia did too.
It’s raining.
She shows no interest in or inclination to go out in it.
We’re normally both all-weather girls, but today I have no interest in or inclination to go out in it either.
I leave the back door open so that she can go outside if she needs to, and go back to bed.
On checking my phone mid-afternoon, I see that it’s still showing the “connect charger” message.
There is no light on the extension board and no light comes on when I press the wall switch. We have a power cut.
My phone charge is low so I turn it off, in case of emergency.
Thankfully, I can boil some water on the gas hob so make myself a cup of tea.
This is a ‘down day’ but not a ‘down day’.
The depression that I’ve been working through most of my life has gone, as has most of the more recent anxiety.
I’m tired – of course I am – but I’m neither ‘down’ nor ‘out’. I’m OK. We’re OK.
When I look over at Lydia, she is gently licking her paws and doing what she needs to do to look after herself, like I do.
For now, that means doing very little, and that’s enough.
Later we do go out for a walk, between showers.
When I give Lydia her tea, feeding her by hand as I always do, she waits a full two minutes in the “stay” position before I reward her with a raw chicken drumstick.
As always, I remind anyone and everyone to take veterinary advice on any aspect of dog feeding and nutrition. I only know what works for me and Lydia. All dogs are different, just like all people are different.
The power comes back on.
Continuing the story of Lydia and Me https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk
As I wake this morning, Lydia is lying at the foot of the bed. She is looking neither sleepy nor restless. I get up to go to the bathroom and, on the way, give her a “rub-a-dub-dub” around her ears, neck, chest and upper arms. I go downstairs, open the back door, make tea and take it back to bed with me. I need some more “sleepy time” and I encourage Lydia to have some more too.
Lydia comes from Romania. So, she’s not only had to learn about a different culture and adjust to a different climate, she’s also had to learn a new language.
I have found Lydia to be very quick to learn on a lot of things. She soon got used to me saying “stay” when we had to leave her alone in the house, and has never had separation anxiety, like a lot of dogs do.
Other words/phrases I’ve introduced to help us to communicate with each other are “peepie time” and “poopie time”. “Peepie time” was important for house training, although we never really had any problems with that, except in the very early days when she was inclined to occasionally have a wee on a carpet.
“Poopie time” was important as for a long time she was very reluctant to have a poo in the back yard. While she mostly did her poos when we were out walking, there were occasions in the early hours of the morning when she had a tummy upset but just would not relieve herself in the back yard. So I ended up driving her out to a quiet country road – one of our usual walking spots – where we would walk up and down until she eventually felt able to do what she needed to do, and then we could go home. There was a time when my partner’s grandsons were staying with us and I had to take Lydia out in the car in the early hours; then when I eventually got back into bed, a cry came up from the boys’ room: “Maggie, I’ve had an accident!”. Quite what was going on in our household that night I don’t know but we did eventually all settle down for a bit more sleep.
I have now managed to train Lydia to occasionally have a “poopie” in the back yard, so that we don’t have to have any more early morning drives out into the country. I’ve still got a long way to go in learning her language, but I do think the “rub-a-dub-dub” is a good development for both of us. I stop and give her quite a few of these on our walk this morning, hopefully helping to regulate her vagus nerve.
As I write there is a window cleaner cleaning next door’s windows. Lydia starts to bark and I say, “No!” firmly and call her to me. Eventually she does come to me and I give her another “rub-a-dub-dub”. I’m hoping this might start to become her cue to feel more settled and calmer when we encounter whatever triggers her fears when we’re out walking. We shall see.
I certainly feel more settled and calmer today after yesterday’s breath and body work, stretching and strengthening. To consolidate this, I’m going to now do some meditation, before visiting a friend this afternoon. Oh, but I think I’ll have another cup of coffee first, because I’m retired, and I fancy another cup of coffee.
My knee is healing, and growing stronger, each passing day”
Continuing the story of Lydia and Me https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk
As I write, my beautiful girl is crunching her way through a dental chew.
The chew is bone shaped. I did quite a lot of internet searching to find out about different brands, and this is one of the brands that got the best reviews. She has good teeth, and I want to help her to look after them.
I’ve struggled a bit with looking after my own teeth in the past.
I previously wrote a blog post about this, and about other aspects of self-care within the context of mental distress:
At that time, there was a mental health update strategy in progress with a claim that mental health would be included in an overall ‘major conditions’ strategy that will focus on ‘whole-person care’.
There is now a Policy paper ‘Major conditions strategy: case for change and our strategic framework’ (Updated 21 August 2023) that includes common mental health conditions and severe mental illness (SMI).
There is some reassurance in the reference to reducing risks earlier in life, and it is also noted that:
“… access to physical healthcare is particularly important for people with SMI. The NHS LTP sets out a transformation programme to develop integrated models of care and holistic support closer to home. The major conditions strategy will outline how to do more to implement physical health support across mental health pathways.”
So, there’s a long way to go but at least there does seem to be some movement in the right direction, hopefully for future generations and hopefully for some people sooner than that.
In the here and now, I continue with my own strategy to manage my health and wellbeing, relying on only minimal, but still welcome, support from the system in the form of anti-depressant medication.
However, I do have access to other forms of support, that make all the difference to me in the context of my life. These take human and canine form. They are, of course, my friends, including Lydia.
With her, I am out every day, walking, enjoying fresh air and steady exercise. I have, with her, companionship and company. Good company.
My friends are amazing – they are rallying for me at a time when I am struggling emotionally.
I am still struggling with anger; have just come back from a Buddhist prayer session; have just spoken to a friend on the phone; am writing this. It all helps; having positive outlets for energy and emotions helps. I didn’t have this when I was younger, but I do now.
“I choose to be peaceful and calm. Everything is unfolding as it should.”
Glad About 
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