My car was booked in for a service this morning so Trev followed me round in his car to the service centre, where I transferred Lydia from my car to his so that I could walk her on the way home.
The car was ready by early afternoon and it was a clear and mild day so I walked back to pick it up.
Later in the afternoon I had a bath – the first bath I’ve had in a long time. Showers are so much easier in so many ways but I did enjoy a good soak, with the addition of some mineral salts and an essential oil – ylang ylang.
The theme for the current Buddhist course – last week, this week and next week – is ‘love’. This week the emphasis was on ‘affectionate love’; a love that is free from delusions such as attachment and anger.
It is such a lovely theme to explore in the context of Buddha’s teachings and feels especially so at this time of the year. I consider myself very fortunate to be able to receive such wonderful words of wisdom.
It was an early start for Lydia and me this morning.
I’d set the alarm for 6.15 but was awake and got up before then.
After a quick cup of tea I took Lydia out for a walk.
She is very amenable and adaptable to changes in routine. We normally have a slow start to the day and I take her out mid- to late morning. However, she took it in her stride – literally – as we walked together for about an hour before heading back for breakfast.
Leaving Lydia at home with Trev, I set off to go to a half-day course at the Buddhist Centre, about a 50-minute drive away.
It’s an easy drive and I arrived in good time for the start of the session: Finding the Hero Within.
I was relieved to find that it didn’t mean I had to be able to quickly don a cape and a vest with a big ‘S’ on it and whizz about in the sky.
The ‘hero’ or ‘heroine’ was defined as anyone who made the decision to train their mind to identify, reduce and eventually eliminate delusional thoughts. Delusional thoughts are those such as ignorance, desirous attachment and anger. These delusional thoughts lead us to believe that our happiness is dependant on external factors or other people rather than ourselves.
For me, an important aspect of the teaching this morning was the emphasis on meditation as the primary means for training the mind, and the acknowledgement that it was all about building things up, bit by bit. Making the commitment, and taking small steps towards achieving it, are the key, with the ultimate aim of building our capacity to be of benefit to others.
This brings me to self-management rule no. 26:Your brief case is an important tool. Use it well. Use it wisely. I’ve struggled with using my brief case – my life – well and wisely, largely because of the mental health complications that I developed as a child and young adult.
I’ve had to do a lot of unravelling, and that in itself has been debilitating and exhausting. Having said that, perhaps what I’ve done is the best that I could do in the circumstances that I was presented with, and now I can start to do things differently, in the circumstances I’m now in?
There is really only one answer to my question, so I’ll continue to meditate, read the dharma (teaching) books, go to classes and retreats and find whatever way that I can to be the best person I can be, for the benefit of others.
I have to confess I find it daunting – terrifying – but bit by bit, step by step, is the way.
Today I’m considering rule no. 3: Establish (and maintain) good relationships with other suppliers (providing the bases are reciprocal).
Not all friendship relationships are reciprocal. I like to think that I can and do reach out a hand of friendship and support to people without any expectation of return. I do, however, have friends where the relationship is one of mutual support. These relationships help to sustain me through difficult times and I do what I can to sustain my friends through any difficult times that they might be having.
Coming, as I am, through a period of emotional and psychological burnout, I don’t have a lot of giving energy available at the moment.
I am, however, gaining spiritual nourishment and sustenance from an increasing commitment to the Buddhist faith.
‘The Liberating Prayer’, composed by Venerable Geshe Kelsang Gyatso Rinpoche, includes the following two verses:
With folded hands I turn to you Supreme unchanging friend, I request from the depths of my heart
Please give me the light of your wisdom To dispel the darkness of my mind And to heal my mental continuum.
Basically, that’s what I’ve been working on for a long time without knowing it but – more recently, since I started reciting this prayer – with growing awareness of what I am doing and why I need to: to dispel the darkness of my mind and to heal my mental continuum.
To know that I can do this, using methods through meditation and putting the Buddhist teachings into practice in other ways, has been like a hand of friendship is helping me to pull myself out of a deep well. I still have to do the work myself – and it’s taking a massive effort – but I’m not stuck and I’m not on my own. That’s friendship.
I also feel an increasing sense of friendship with members of the Buddhist teaching group that I go to. It’s good to have friendship groups as well as ‘besties’ in our lives.
Having just given Lydia a good ‘rub-a-dub-dub’ tummy rub and chest massage, and knowing that she looks out for me and Trev too, in her way, it’s good to know that we have our own friendship group here at home.
Glad About 
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