Tag: dogs

Day 26

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Writing into Life, more

It was damp this morning, but mild and bright, when Lydia and I set off to the dog field that I’d booked for us; not too early.

We hadn’t been to this particular dog field for a while, as I know Lydia likes to race cars that pass on the other side of the fence of another dog park that I take her to, and it gives her a good workout. It’s good to have a change though, and she was wearing her happy legs as she sniffed and mooched about the field that we went to today.

Once home, with Lydia nudging her breakfast ball around the lounge, I reheated chips from last night’s fish supper for my own breakfast, giving them just short of 2 minutes at full power in the microwave.  They were sizzling and tasty, topped off with a light sprinkling of salt and vinegar and a splash of salad cream. A strong cup of tea completed my morning meal and I then went back to bed to rest for a while, to ensure that I’ll have enough energy reserves for more painting that I’m planning on doing tomorrow.

Suitably rested, I went out and bought in some groceries.  Somehow, as I was carrying the bags into the house, I dropped a container of milk, which split, spilling milk all over the floor.  So, I set to, soaking it up with towels and mopping the floor before putting the shopping away.  I managed to get some of the milk in a jug before it was all lost so, hey, no point in crying over spilt milk!

I decided to enter a poetry competition – who knows, I might just win – and chose three that have not previously been published by me or anywhere else.

As it’s Halloween, at Trev’s suggestion I bought some sweets as treats to give out in case we get any ‘trick or treat’ callers tonight. We haven’t had them here on previous years but you never know, so I have put them in a jar by the door, ready, just in case.

I’m doing an easy tea tonight: prepared spinach and ricotta tortellini with a simple tomato sauce that I’m making myself. I’ve chopped up and fried an onion till soft, added some chopped garlic and a tin of chopped tomatoes, plus a vegetable stock cube – chopped into small pieces – a splash each of soy sauce and Worcestershire sauce, a good squirt of tomato puree and a small sprinkling of brown sugar, to just take the edge off the tartness of the tomatoes.  It’s bubbling away now and I’ll finish it by using a hand-held blender to make it smooth.  I think it should be tasty and nutritious along with the pasta. 

Having unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher and set the towels that I used to soak up the milk on a wash, I feel fairly up to date with what I need to do today so I think another rest is in order.

Lydia is lying by the back door.  I’ll see if she wants to go outside for a while before I go upstairs.

Day 2

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Writing into Life, more

Photo by James Frid on Pexels.com

For my age – pushing 70 – I have very little in the way of bodily aches and pains or physical ailments.

I do exercises for my knees – which keep the Baker’s Cysts at the back of them at bay – and my daily walks with Lydia help me to maintain my overall fitness levels. 

The other day, though, I started getting a twinge to one side of my lower back. Nothing drastic, but noticeable.

I couldn’t have asked for more, then, when our Qigong teacher, Sue, in yesterday’s class, talked us through exercises that concentrated on the lower back area.

Qigong movements are very gentle, methodical.  It isn’t always easy to see how they can be of immediate benefit – because they aren’t designed necessarily to be of immediate benefit.  Effects over time can be difficult to recognise because of the very fact that they are gradual, often almost imperceptible.  All I do know, is that I started going to Sue’s classes regularly – weekly – around 15 years ago and I hold them in no small part responsible for some of the health and fitness benefits I now enjoy.

This morning, the twinge in my lower back is less. I didn’t take painkillers and it didn’t just go away on its own.  The combination of Qigong, preceded by yoga – which in turn was a gentle, meditative session – has, I believe, helped.

I meditated again this morning, sitting upright in a chair in the way we have been taught.  Thankfully, there is no expectation of sitting cross legged on the floor. I used to try that, but it ‘killed’ my knees!

Lydia and I have had a woodland walk today. We also have new neighbours, including another dog.  It’s going to be a challenge to train Lydia not to bark at it every time she hears it on the other side of the fence.  We’ll get there though, just as we’re ‘getting there’ with other things. Even if we don’t know where we’re going, were doing our best to make the most of our time together, day by day, step by step.

Day 28 – opening

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Writing into Life

Photo by Alexis Caso on Pexels.com

With no Qigong this afternoon, it’s the woodland walk for Lydia and me this morning, then yoga.  Lydia often partakes in this remotely, being particularly good at ‘downward facing dog’!

The yoga teacher introduced a new exercise aid to the class: conkers.  They formed a focus for our meditation and visualisation and I must say I enjoyed the experience of familiarisation with the seed of the chestnut tree. It was somehow comforting and inspiring at the same time.

As I now complete this latest 28-day cycle of writing, I reflect on how far I’ve come, not just since I started writing this blog in 28-day cycles a few months ago, but since I started my overall journey of recovery over fifty years ago, when I was still very young.

I didn’t know it at the time, but it essentially started in my teens, when I decided that I needed more than physical food in my life.

That may sound ungrateful as I know there are many people in the world who have less food than they need to survive.  But my needs for nourishment were psychological, emotional and spiritual. They were very real for me and presented in the forms of social anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia and an eating disorder.   That’s a lot for any teen to have to deal with and I hope that in writing about my experiences, it may help others to not have to go through the same.

It’s taken me a long time to work out what I needed to work out, to find pieces that I didn’t have reference points for.  How could I know what I’d lost when I had no memory of having it in the first place?

For whatever reason – probably survival – my emotional brain closed down, and it’s taken me a lifetime to find ways of opening it up again. I’m still working on it, with Lydia’s help and a lot of help and support from a lot of other people along the way.

The most significant latest step for me is on the path presented by the Buddhist faith. It helps me to make sense of a lot of things, accept what I can’t change, and do my best to make the most of each day as it comes, recognising the value of what I have when for so long I was focused on what I didn’t have. Grief doesn’t go away, but we can grow to encompass a wider experience of life around it. That’s what I’ve been doing my best to do.

As I now take a couple of weeks break from writing a new daily blog, I’ll continue with republishing previous posts, looking back a bit before again moving on.

The paperback versions of my two latest books – ‘Rules, Rhymes, Recovery, Recipe, Random: Glad About Life’ and ‘A Woman, a Dog and a Blog: Writing into Life’ will shortly be available on Amazon, along with the Kindle and Kindle Unlimited editions:

https://amzn.eu/d/fEuGERc

https://amzn.eu/d/0i0dobh

‘Rules, Rhymes, Recovery, Random: Glad About Life’ brings together over 60 blog posts, from  March 2020 through to September 2024.

It offers personal insights into the mental health recovery journey, recognising that there are no easy answers or quick fix solutions to complex problems but demonstrating that growth is possible through whatever difficulties life presents.

https://amzn.eu/d/fEuGERc

‘A Woman, a Dog & a Blog: Writing into Life’ presents a summary of my own backstory and that of my dog, Lydia. We had both experienced trauma before we met and, though I effectively rescued and adopted her, in many ways she has also rescued and adopted me. 

We continue our journey together, day by day, step by step.  Volume I of this book presents the first cycle of me writing a post a day for 28 days, at a time when the depression I had experienced most of my adult life had started to lift, only to reveal an underlying and extreme – at the time – sense of anxiety.  Having lost everything that I’d worked for in the past, due to a severe breakdown in my thirties, I was absolutely petrified that history was going to repeat itself and that I would lose everything again, including Lydia.  I was determined that wouldn’t happen and I drew on every aspect of resourcefulness and resilience I’d built up, and all the support mechanisms I could muster, to make sure that it didn’t. And it hasn’t.

Volume II presents the next 28 days of continuing to work with – and write about – positives in whatever way that I can. Affirmations, exercises, working with clay, working with words, walking, reflecting, resting, meditating – they’re all in there as I find my own way through and I hope it may help others find their way too.

https://amzn.eu/d/0i0dobh

Day 25 – weekends

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Writing into Life

Photo by Posawee Suwannaphati on Pexels.com

Lydia had a good run around the dog field this morning, chasing trucks and tractors that passed by on the other side of the fence. 

It could be argued that I shouldn’t encourage her to use her ‘hunt’ capacity as it goes against the training that I do with her on other days, but on balance I’ve decided that the benefits of cardiovascular exercise she gets outweigh the drawbacks.  She just needs to run free sometimes and do what she wants to do, within the safe confines of the dog field.

While she’s doing her thing I do mine, with exercises for my knees and repeats of the Qigong[1] ‘healing form’.

‘Back at the ranch’ I rest for a while, then locate my trusty carpet cleaner to go over the central area of the lounge. I did the whole room a while back but it just needs a freshen up in the middle which gets most of the traffic from paws and feet.  I also give the stair carpet a clean and that’s my ‘domestic duties’ done for the day.  

Back to binge-watching some more episodes of MAFSAU, not feeling under any pressure to do much else. Resting up and prioritising the way I have been is beginning to influence my burnt-out brain in positive ways, so I’m continuing with slow and steady.

It’ll be a takeaway pizza and a bottle of red wine for me tonight.  Red wine was always a favourite of mine on a Friday night when I was working and it still is.  Just because you’re retired doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate the end of the ‘working week’.  On most days during the week I do something constructive one way or another, and I’m looking forward to a relaxing weekend.

I have absolutely nothing planned and don’t feel I need to have either.

[1] Chinese exercise for health and wellbeing

Day 23 – rain

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Writing into Life

Photo by Egor Kamelev on Pexels.com

When I wake this morning I hear the sound of rain, and my thoughts go to the reminder that has come through the Buddhist teachings: welcome wholeheartedly whatever. I also think of RARE: recognise, address, reduce and eliminate delusional thoughts.

I’ve always liked the sound and feel of rain and generally been an all-weather girl, providing I’ve been wrapped up to face the elements or under cover to relish being cosy and dry. I have loved this long summer though, with the warm and sunny weather that we’ve had and thought I would miss it more than I am doing.

After a cup of tea, a recitation of the meditation prayers to myself (I don’t feel up to chanting them out loud at the moment, not when I’m on my own, anyway), and a meditation followed by the Liberating Prayer*, Lydia and I get ready to go out. 

It’s a later start than usual, still damp outside and as we start our walk there is some very fine rain. Not enough to make me wish I’d worn a hood or anywhere near enough to persuade Lydia to wear her raincoat.  She really doesn’t like to wear a raincoat and I only persist in getting her to wear one if it is particularly cold and icy.  Today it is still warm and the rain holds off as we walk.

It’s quiet, with only a dog walker who I regularly see passing by in her van. I wave, Lydia starts to lunge, I ask her to sit, and she does.  What a clever girl.  She is doing so well.

Back home, after putting her bag of ‘poopie’ in the bin, I wash my hands and give Lydia her breakfast in her food ball. Before I have my breakfast, I put some dry washing away and put some more in the machine.  It’s good to keep on top of housework and doing a bit at a time works for me.  I’m not a domestic goddess but I do like a clean house, even if it’s not clean all over all the time. I do it on a sort of rota basis as I concentrate on other priorities. There’s a part of me that wishes I could be motivated to go round the house with a duster every day but I’m not.

Lydia tries to get me to give her some more food but I resist.  I do, however, take a bag of cooked chicken pieces out of the freezer, to give her as a surprise treat later when they’re defrosted. For now, she’s lying just a couple of yards away, watching me type and looking very relaxed.

It’s just the two of us at the moment as Trev’s away visiting places in the UK that I don’t want to visit. It’s Corfe Castle for him today. For me it’s the Buddhist class tonight.

Quite where I would be if I hadn’t had access to these teachings, I don’t know, except that I think I do, and it wouldn’t be a good place.  Thankfully, I am in a good place and I’ll keep working at it to keep it that way.

My thoughts turn to a friend who introduced me to Buddhism many years ago. He’s not in a good place at the moment so I hold him in my thoughts for a while and hope that he soon is.

*Composed by the Venerable Geshe Kelsang Rinpoche and recited at Kadampa meditation centres throughout the world: https://kadampa.org/podcast/the-liberating-prayer

Day 20 – learning

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Writing into Life

Lydia and I seem to have had a bit of a breakthrough in terms of how we manage encounters with dogs and moving vehicles while out walking.

While I’ve been using positive reinforcement with her for over three and a half years, I’ve most recently been practising this with a “sit” and “wait” command combination. I’ve also been asking her to “sit” and “wait” before we go out of the back door and again before we go out of the back gate. She’s been getting really used to this and will now often do an impromptu sit before we go through the door.

Using the same “sit” and “wait” combination is now starting to work with her when we see a dog – from a distance – and also when we’re on a road and have cars passing by.  I hold her on a short lead, reward her immediately for the “sit” and reward the “wait” providing she doesn’t bark or lunge.  I also add a lot of reassurance and extra treats and praise afterwards, as I know her fears are still triggered by these experiences, but it does feel like a big step forward. We’re both doing our best to learn and I hope that we can continue to build on this.

I’ve had to do a lot of learning in my life, including a lot of hard life lessons. Learning can be a good way of avoiding being taught (self-management rule no. 35).

It was also good to see a field of still-flowering sunflowers when we were out today. It may be September, but there are still signs of summer.

Day 2 – belonging

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Writing into Life

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Lydia loves her home; our home. 

I’ve noticed how her confidence has increased, particularly over this last summer when she makes decisions about what she wants to do and when she wants to do it. The back door is open most of the time, and she comes and goes as she pleases, within the confines of our garden.

While I continue to train her and manage her behaviour around reactivity, reinforcing basic commands such as “sit”, “wait”, “down”, “stay” and “heel”, I like the fact that she works things out for herself, and we sometimes have a compromise. For example, if she’s outside barking at birds or other dogs or motorbikes going by, and I use the “here” command to bring her in, she will often come towards me but then settle down quietly, still outside but near the door.  I think this is really clever. She gets what she wants – to stay outside – and I get what I want – for her to be quiet and not disturb the neighbours. I like the fact that we can come to an understanding about this arrangement between us, me using my language and she using hers.

Some people may say that I shouldn’t let her get her own way like this, that I need to be ‘top dog’ but I’ve read that the ‘alpha’ principle that used to be thought to apply to dogs, doesn’t, and I’m happy to go with the latest research.

Source: Alpha Dog Myth: Understanding Canine Behavior – PetPress, and others

Lydia belongs here.  After the life that she’s had – much of which we know nothing about until she came into our lives through adoption – it’s good to know that she has a strong sense of home now. Her home; our home.

At the poetry open mic meeting that I performed in last week, another reader read out an extract from ‘The House of Belonging’ by David Whyte. I hadn’t heard of it before, but it resonated with me at a level that leads me to want to reproduce it here:

This is the bright home
in which I live,
this is where
I ask
my friends
to come,
this is where I want
to love all the things
it has taken me so long
to learn to love.

This is the temple
of my adult aloneness
and I belong
to that aloneness
as I belong to my life.

There is no house
like the house of belonging.

The House of Belonging poem – David Whyte

Homepage – David Whyte

Going forward, that poem will underpin how I apply my own ‘rules for self-management’ that I introduced in yesterday’s post: https://gladabout.life/2025/08/26/day-1-filing/.

It somehow feels like it’s what I’ve been working towards for a long time, and the poem just said it for me.

Thanks and thoughts go to David Whyte, and to the lady who read out the poem at the open mic meeting.

Day 4

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Eight more pots in the making; it’s a slow process but a good one

I took Lydia for an appointment at the grooming studio this morning. She continues to be more relaxed each time we go. As always, Vicky the groomer gives her lots of reassurance, encouragement and treats. Lydia is quite rightly proud of herself at the end of the session. She is doing so well, and I’m proud of her too.

Later I collected the 28 small pots that I made back in May. These have now been through their first firing which means they are at the ‘bisque’ or ‘biscuit’ stage.

My plan is to give them a second firing in a sawdust kiln.

A sawdust kiln is basically a heatproof container into which pots are placed, with lots of fine sawdust packed around them.

My sawdust kiln is made out of old bricks that I acquired from a neighbour.

I don’t have the space or scope for any other type of kiln at home but I do like to experiment with a sawdust firing now and then.

I’ll be doing the firing soon as these pots will be part of my display at the Aldborough & Boroughbridge Show, on 27 July.

After collecting my bisque-fired pots I had an afternoon at the pottery studio, finishing some work I threw a few weeks ago on the potter’s wheel. I love the process of turning the pots when they are leather hard, trimming away excess clay until I’m satisfied with the shapes.

This evening I am tired and more than a little despondent. I’m sure the latter low mood is at least in part influenced by the former state. Bringing myself back into wellness has been and still is a long haul. I have better support and good things going on in my life than I’ve ever had, but tonight  I just feel ‘washed out’.

Lydia helps to lift me though. Just seeing her lovely face looking at me as I feed her, and hearing her make soft gutteral sounds of pleasure and anticipated pleasure is all I need to reboot.

Day 1

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Lydia has had a holiday and so have I.

I picked her up from the boarding kennels this morning, where she’s been staying for the last nine nights.

The staff at the kennels love her, and she gets very excited about going to see them.  I’m pleased to say that she’s also excited to see me when I go to pick her up. She is a big bundle of furry fluffiness hurtling towards me and goes straight into the car, ready to go home.

It’s good to be home. 

I needed to get away for a while, but it’s so good to be home.

To pace myself, after a late return journey last night, I choose not to go to yoga this afternoon. Instead, I take it easy with my dog, get my car tyres checked – I need new ones – and do a bit of shopping.  Today is the first day of the rest of my retirement, and I’m enjoying it.

Later I go to Qigong.  We are doing some movements, under the theme of ‘deer’, which are lovely. I imagine I have antlers for a while. We take up poses for increasing our alertness and awareness, as if we are animals in the wild, picking up on sights and sounds, of potential dangers and opportunities for exploration.

Building up to the deer movements, we did work to increase the flexibility and strength of our shoulder blades and spine, as well as being beneficial to kidney and liver function.

I continue to reflect on how fortunate I am to have my health and be able to do exercises such as these to help maintain it.

This feels like Day 1 in more ways than one.

Rules, Rhymes, Recovery, Recipe, Random – Glad About Life: https://amzn.eu/d/6Ptwe4S

Woman, a Dog & a Blog – Writing into Life: https://amzn.eu/d/63qIYzR

Day 27

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

I had lunch at the World Peace Café today.

It may not be the only Peace Café in the World, but it is the only one that I know, in this part of the World. And it’s a good one.

The lunch followed a morning of Buddhist meditations and teachings, on how to overcome anger and frustration.

I’ve done a lot of work on my ‘anger issues’ over the last 3 decades but found recently that I needed to do more.

The principle presented in today’s teachings is to practise patient acceptance, with a loving heart.

There are some aspects of my life where I find this easy and joyful, such as the work I’m doing with Lydia.  It does require patience, to keep repeating the same training routines and reassurances, and to keep looking for further ways to provide reassurance and help her overcome her fears.

On the other hand, having let go of most of my own anxieties now about being able to keep going on a sustained basis, I no longer feel under any self-induced pressure to achieve ‘outcomes’. We just do what we do, day by day. I love my time with Lydia, and I think Lydia enjoys her time with me too.

I got another ‘wake up’ call from her at 1.30’ish this morning.

This time she did want to go outside, which I presumed was for a toilet need.

Usually, she’ll come back in quite quickly and we settle ourselves down for some more “sleepy time” but this morning I waited a while and then went out to see where she was.

It was a warm and beautiful starry night.

I’m not great on constellations but I did recognise a clear ‘plough’ and a star that shone very brightly, which I thought may have been the North Star.

Thanks to Lydia, I had those few special moments looking up at the stars.

Sitting outside now, as I write, in the sunshine, after a mellow morning followed by a leisurely lunch, I do feel a sense of personal peace that I thought for a long time I would never be able to feel. Yesterday was grief and anger; today is peace.

I’ll still have to keep working at it: meditating; learning; relaxing; growing; writing; loving.

I’m lucky to have a lot of good things in my life and to be able to have days like I’m having today. I do wish that for others too.

My book, Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines – is now available in paperback: https://amzn.eu/d/eQ2sWjU and for Kindle https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk.

I don’t claim to be a dog trainer or a mind trainer – I’m just a woman with a dog who writes a blog, and has written a book, about life, and about being glad.