Tag: dogs

Day 14

'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Continuing the story of Lydia, Me https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk

My knee is healing, and getting stronger, each passing day”

This affirmation has been coming into my head this morning and I kept saying it to myself, over and over again, as I drove to the walking spot for Lydia and me.

I also kept saying it over and over to myself as I was walking with her. And as she was walking with me, she was walking easily to heel most of the time.

I reinforced this with occasional reminders: “heel – yes – good girl”/treat. But she seemed happy to fall in easily by my side with a loose lead, and we had a lovely walk together in the sunshine, with a light breeze.

I’m looking into how I can do more work with Lydia’s vagus nerve, and more work with my own nervous system, dysregulated after years of doing my best to address compounded complex sets of difficult circumstances. 

The website, stuffofsuccess.com, identifies a number of ways that a dog’s vagus nerve can be re-set or stimulated:

1. Deep, Slow Breathing Techniques

2. Massage & Gentle Pressure

3. Cold Exposure (Mild & Safe)

4. Gentle Exercise & Movement

5. Gut Health & Diet

6. Calming Sounds & Vibrations

7. Chewing & Licking Activities

8. Emotional Connection & Bonding

There are some of these that I’m already aware of, and do already, but there’s plenty of scope for me to do more. So, for example, the recommendation is to: “Encouraging slow, deep breathing through relaxation techniques.” (How to Reset a Dog’s Vagus Nerve: Natural Techniques for Calm and Health ⋆ The Stuff of Success)

I identified some ideas about how to do this at How to Calm a Dog Down: 11 Tips for Calming Your Dog – 2025 – MasterClass:

1. Learn to read their body language. Anxious dogs tend to drool, pant heavily, pace back and forth, or whine when they’re feeling anxious. Some dogs may tuck their tail between their legs or pin down their ears. Pay close attention to your dog’s body language so you can react quickly to help settle them down.

2. Show them some physical affection. Few things get a dog to calm down faster than the owner’s touch. Pet parents can help alleviate their dogs’ stress by holding them or petting them during stressful events.

3. Put on some classical music. Music therapy has been shown to work for some anxious dogs. Dogs with mild separation anxiety may benefit from music therapy when they’re left at home alone.

4. Try aromatherapy. Use an essential oil diffuser to fill the air with calming aromas such as chamomile or lavender. You can also try diffusing synthetic pheromones that can help calm dogs.

5. Provide a calm, safe place. If your dog’s anxiety is triggered by thunderstorms or loud noises like fireworks, it’s important that your dog feels safe when these triggers occur. Dogs’ ears are much more sensitive than human ears, so consider placing a white noise machine in a cozy spot in the house to drown out the noises that are scaring them. Keep stimuli to a minimum.

6. Dress your dog in a calming vest. Calming vests wrap around your dog, offering a consistent level of pressure that can make them feel calm during stressful situations.

7. Provide proper socialization. Exposing puppies to a wide array of social situations can help stave off anxiety at a young age, but you may want to skip the dog park. Provide socialization in a more controlled environment first. Older dogs who may have pre-existing traumas or phobias may need the help of a trained behaviorist.

8. Make sure hyper dogs get enough exercise. Sometimes the best thing for a hyperactive dog is to let them get their energy out through exercise. If your dog is exhibiting destructive behaviors at home—chewing, jumping, biting—they likely have pent-up energy that needs to be exhausted. Take them for a walk or give them some extra playtime to help bring down their stress level.

9. Avoid eye contact with hyper dogs. Dogs love attention, but sometimes this can be counterproductive. Hyper dogs who are exhibiting anxious behaviors may feel validated when they receive attention while acting out. Instead, try to ignore a hyper dog until they calm down. Then reward them for calming down with lots of eye contact and dog treats.

10. Give them calming supplements. Chamomile, pet-friendly CBD oils, and melatonin are all good options for helping lower your dog’s heart rate. Check with your veterinarian before giving your dog any over-the-counter supplements to ensure you’re giving your dog the correct dose.

11. Consider anxiety medication. If most calming techniques are not working to calm your dog down, talk to a veterinarian about getting your dog a prescription anxiety medication.

Of these, I haven’t done any work with her so far on 4, 6 and 11. I do occasionally burn a scented candle or some joss sticks in the house, but generally the house is a calming environment for Lydia.

If she was demonstrating anxiety all the time, at home and during walks outside generally, I would consider anxiety medication.  But she’s so much calmer than she used to be when we’re outside, that I would be reluctant to go down that route because of potential side effects. We’ve recently consulted a behaviourist regarding her reactivity to other dogs, and we continue to put into practice the techniques identified. Therefore I’m going to do more work with her on ‘massage and gentle pressure’ as my identified priority for the time being.

Ear massage, neck and throat massage and acupressure & TTouch are identified on stuffofsucess.com as techniques that focus on nerve stimulation, for example using “light circular motions along the spine and near the ears”.

I don’t know what TTouch is so will do some more research to find out. In the meantime, I can do more of what I’ve been doing on ear, neck and throat massage.

Having done that bit of research, and identified a priority to help Lydia feel more relaxed, I can now look forward to a bit of relaxation for myself for the rest of the day.

We have a neighbour coming round to enjoy the sunshine with us. Warm sausage rolls, cold beer, potato salad and coleslaw. It’s going to be a good afternoon.

Day 6

'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Continuing the story of Lydia, Me and our Family of Three https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk

I had a lovely visit with friends yesterday. They lifted me. 

I was late arriving at their house. There had been a road accident and I struggled to find an alternative route. When I phoned them to let them know about my delay, they made sure that I realised it didn’t matter – they just wanted to see me. This meant such a lot to me.

I rested into most of the rest of the evening on my return home, after giving Lydia her tea.

I’m continuing to feed her all her food by hand, as training rewards, either when we’re out on a walk, or at home for her evening meal.

The big treat for Lydia, as part of her evening meal, is a raw bone. Today it’s a chicken drumstick. She waits for 90 seconds on “stay” and then bounds towards me when I say “here”.  Lydia loves her raw bone[1]. It’s a high value treat that provides a really good opportunity to reinforce the training and learning we’re doing together.

Trev went out to buy our tea – fish and chips.  We have some great chippies round here. I like mine with curry sauce. He has mushy peas. This is a high value treat for us.

A phone call from another good friend also meant the world to me and I slept with a much easier mind that I’d had the other day.

This morning, I wake around 8am.   

At some point during the night Lydia went downstairs to continue her sleep in her favourite armchair.  She has a bed in the bedroom which she loves but also loves that chair.

When I go down in the morning to make a cup of tea, she turns from her sleeping position onto her back, with floppy paws.

This is my invitation to tickle her tummy, although these days it’s more of a massage.

I concentrate on her neck, upper arms and chest, rather than her tummy. I’m not a trained masseuse, either human or canine, but I focus on muscles and areas where she might be holding a bit of tension. She makes some soft gurgling noises so I think I must be doing OK. To finish, I take hold of each of her paws in turn and give them a bit of a rub. This will, in turn, help her to feel more comfortable when her paws are being held for claw clipping.

Lydia and I have our woodland walk today. 

I do some heel reinforcement work on our walk across the field towards the wood, and the walk itself is easy. I only have to do an occasional turnabout if Lydia starts to tug, but she’s not doing much tugging at all. After a full circuit, I decide to go back and do the walk again, from the other direction. 

My right knee, that I’ve had a few problems with recently, is much better. 

I’m lucky. At 69 I have no serious physical ailments or infirmities to contend with.

To improve the condition and flexibility of my knees, I’ve been doing some physio exercises that I was taught. I also rub in ‘wear and tear’ lubricating gel, morning and evening, take a good quality multi-vitamin and mineral supplement for joint care, and repeat an affirmation:

“My knee is healing, and getting stronger, each passing day.”

It’s easy to forget, when things are going well, what it’s taken to get to that point.

So, I’ll continue with my maintenance regime, and hopefully continue to enjoy the benefits of healthy knees.

[1] Dogs should never be given cooked bones. Raw bones may not be suitable for all dogs. Consultation should always be made with a qualified canine nutritionist and/or vet.

Day 2

'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment
Lydia – anticipating her breakfast today

Continuing the story of Lydia, Me and our Family of Three https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk

It’s an early start for Lydia and me; she’s going to the groomers.

When I first started taking her for grooming, around 3 years ago, she was very anxious and so was I.

I hadn’t taken a dog for grooming before; I hadn’t had a dog before.

Lydia must have had some previous grooming interventions as her claws were not overly long and her coat, though clearly in need of a good brushing, was not in bad condition.

Even so, there must have been a few pounds of fur on the floor by the end of that session.

We’ve been back every 4 to 6 weeks since, and we have both become steadily less anxious at each visit.

This is at least in part because of the kind, confident, patient approach taken by Vicky, the groomer.  Between us we talk to Lydia, reassure her, and I feed her treats while Vicky does the clipping and brushing.

Today, Lydia jumps up on to the grooming table without even having to be asked. Her front and back claws are quickly clipped and Vicky then goes on to brushing and thinning her coat, which is wavy, thick and soft; a beautiful sandy colour with grey undertones.

I’ve put a muzzle on Lydia, just to be on the safe side. She can feed and drink through it, and it helps to make sure that, between us, we can get the job done.

We opted for minimal intervention, right at the start. Lydia doesn’t have a bath or a shower. After half an hour of clipping and brushing she’s had enough.  We say our goodbyes to Vicky and head out for our morning walk, to a quiet spot nearby.

Lydia walks to heel with me most of the way, hardly pulling or tugging at all.

We arrive home. Lydi and I have our respective breakfasts. Trev’s already had his.

It’s Tuesday and I’ll visit my friend in the village later. For now, I rest, Lydia rests, Trev rests. He’s going to the gym later but we can all take it easy for a while. We’re retired.

Day 1

'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

continuing the story of Lydia, Me and our Family of Three https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk

Photo by Anthony ud83dude42 on Pexels.com

As I wake, I start to say affirmations to myself.

I first heard about affirmations over 30 years ago, when I came across the Louise Hay book, ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. (Hay House, 1984)

Affirmations have helped me in my healing process, although I’ve had to do a lot of other things as well.

The affirmation that I connected with at that time was: “I am the love and beauty of life in all its manifestations.”

I didn’t feel like I was the love and beauty of life in any of its manifestations, but I kept saying it to myself, over and over again.

I’d had some persistent warts on my thumb for years and found no lotions or potions that did anything to get rid of them.  They disappeared though, shortly after I started using this affirmation.

Coincidence? Maybe, but I don’t think so. The power of positive thinking is not to be underestimated, in my view.  And my view does tend to be aligned with a lot of other views, including those embedded in Buddhist teachings.

During the Covid crisis, my affirmation of choice was, “I choose to be peaceful and calm; everything is unfolding as it should”.   Some people laughed at me when I told them about this at the time, but it did help me to stay calm during Covid, even if I did go through some very ‘not so calm’ periods later.

Today, I am saying the Louise Hay affirmation, and also another that I came across online:

“My knee is healing and getting stronger, each passing day.”

I don’t have too much of a problem with my knees, at the moment, but they are a weak point for me, so I do exercises that a physio taught me, take a one-a-day vitamin and mineral supplement for joints, apply some ‘wear & tear’ lubricating fluid that I bought from the chemist, and say the affirmation.

I need my knees to be functioning and flexible so that I can keep walking and working with Lydia.

We go on our woodland walk this morning.

On the narrow path across the field, between growing crops, Lydia’s nose nudges the backs of my knees, but the lead is looser than it was the last time we did this walk. She seems much more relaxed, and this continues as we emerge from the field and start along the grassy path beside the wood. I do a few ‘about turns’ as I need to but she pulls very little.  We make our way through the wood, which has a warm dampness about it from yesterday’s rain, heating up now with today’s sun.

At one point during our walk, Lydia looks up at me, mouth open as if she is smiling, and I think that she is telling me that she isn’t as afraid as she used to be. She is still alert to sights, sounds, smells, but she isn’t pulling away from me. I feel like we are more ‘together’ on this walk, today. Every so often I reinforce the “heel” command, using some dried food from her daily allowance, mixed with some treats to give extra value to her reward for being a “good girl”.  I haven’t brought cooked chicken with me this morning; I’ll use that tonight when we have our evening training time.

Home and, after giving Lydia the rest of her breakfast allowance in her favourite food ball – which she pushes around with her nose to get access to the dried food pellets that I put inside – I get my own breakfast. It’s a late one and I have a busy afternoon planned.

For much of last year I had what I referred to as ‘Wellbeing Wednesdays’ because I used to take Lydia for a walk first thing, then go to a yoga class, then go for a psychotherapy session at 1pm, then, after taking Lydia out for another walk in the afternoon, go to a Buddhist teaching and meditation session in the evening.

Now I have ‘Mental Health Mondays’, with yoga and Qigong in the afternoon.

Qigong isn’t as well known as yoga, and I find both beneficial for both my physical and mental health. I wrote a blog post about Qigong a while back:

Qigong – body awareness of a different kind

My Qigong teacher, Sue, congratulates me on the forthcoming publication of my book:

https://amzn.eu/d/0TIIDLG

It’s good to be on the receiving end of congratulations, and to feel good about the publication of my book. I used to think that I could never feel good about anything to do with myself again. Now I can, and I do.

Lydia, Me & our Family of Three

'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment
Lydia, 2025

When I first started writing this blog I had just retired and it was something that I wanted to do.

I thought it would help me to complete a cycle of mental health recovery that I’d started many years previously, and that in writing about my experiences it might help others too.

I had no idea then just how far away I was from the summit of my recovery mountain, or just how many sheer cliff faces I was going to have to climb to be able to finally enjoy the view.

That was over five years ago.

I found no easy answers but knew that I had to keep going, and I did.

At 69 I have no wish or need now to climb any more mountains, either in my head or with my feet. However, my journey does continue, day by day, step by step, and I will continue to write about it and share it with anyone who is interested.

My new e-book, publishing on Amazon for Kindle 5th June, gives insights into how Lydia, Me & our Family of Three have recently  made our final ascent:

‘Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines’

https://amzn.eu/d/iAQbck8

About Time

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When I went through a major breakdown in my late thirties, one of the many things I struggled to come to terms with, as I fought my way back to functionality, was the sense of all the ‘wasted time’ that had gone into building a life that at that stage had come to ‘nothing’.

Roll on more than a quarter of a century, and I’ve had a significant shift in mindset. As each day unfolds I feel a strong sense of being gifted with it; of having all the time in the world. ‘Making the most of it’ can mean anything I want it to mean, whether that be resting, walking, making something out of clay, washing up, doing housework, doing nothing.

So, how did I get from where I was to where I am now?

I’m not really sure, because it’s all a bit of a blur, but I know I’ve done a lot of meditating, a lot of searching, a lot of turning myself inside out, of fighting the thoughts that threatened to pull me into despair, a lot of reaching out, falling, getting up again and trying something else.

Sometimes the last push is the hardest and coming to terms with things that I couldn’t change took some doing.  At around the same time that I had a counsellor who was determined to avoid the key issues that I needed to address, I came across a Buddhist teaching that helped me enormously: https://madhyamaka.org/how-to-accept-what-cant-be-changed/.

The lingering sadness associated with not having been able to form a family of my own has taken a different turn recently, in the form of a furry friend.  She’s not a baby, she’s an adult dog. However, she’s done something to my heart that’s filled a gap I never thought could be filled. Time isn’t about what’s past or ‘lost’, it’s about being here and now, with my partner, and our dog.