Tag: meditation

Day 12

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Writing 2026

My afternoon at the Buddhist Centre left me slightly damp – It was raining and I was working outside, doing my usual Friday afternoon job of sweeping up leaves around the accommodation blocks. I do, however, feel invigorated by the fresh air and exercise and most of all by a chance meeting with the Spiritual Director of the Centre, Gen-la Kelsang Kunsang. Her warmth, words of encouragement and kind hugs meant more than I can say.

I was also offered some biscuits with the cup of tea I sat down to when the job was done. The offer – and provision – of these by the Reception Manager at the Centre were much appreciated.

Home to a cup of cocoa and a hot shower, I can now rest. Though still struggling with some aspects of my mental health, I know how fortunate I am to have my physical health, and try not to take it for granted. I also know how lucky I am to be able to put meditation techniques into practise and benefit from the teachings of Buddha, as well as taking my daily dose of anti-depressant medication.

Lydia is having a bit of fresh air outside at the moment, having been in the house all afternoon.

Our walk this morning using the new bridle was easy. This may be a one-off but I’ll take it for now. She doesn’t seem in any way as averse to it as the previous one, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that we’ve finally got a workable solution.

Day 8

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Writing 2026

With the central heating boiler still not fixed, and having slept fully clothed – including two pairs of socks – I decided to bring my dog walking boots in from the car this morning, before putting them on.

We do have a functioning gas fire so I warmed my boots, and my gloves, in front of that for a while.

It did the trick as my feet were toastie during the walk and only the ends of my little fingers were cold.

Lydia doesn’t seem to feel the cold through her paws or, if she does, she doesn’t let it bother her.

She only tried twice to get out of her new collar this morning and we had a good walk through the woods.

Struggling with some negative thoughts at the moment, I came across a suggestion in one of my social media feeds to thank the thought before letting it go.

I’m trying this, as well as referring to the guidance that came from the New Year’s Eve teaching at Manjushri Centre, choosing to go in the direction of positive; also choosing to meditate as a way of helping my mind to do this. Meditation helps me to find a better place, within.

Day 5

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Writing 2026

I picked Lydia up from the kennels where she’s boarded over the last couple of nights, taking her for a short walk before heading for home and breakfast.

After a rest I headed off to the Madhyamaka Buddhist Centre – that I’ve decided now to call ‘Magic Maka’ Buddhist Centre, as much as anything by virtue of it being there. That in itself is quite a remarkable piece of magic as far I’m concerned.

I did my usual job of sweeping up around the accommodation blocks. It was a bit chilly but I had plenty of layers on and quickly warmed up. The sun came out for a while and I steadily worked away until the job was done. After a mug of decaff tea I drove home.

More resting tonight, a bit of telly, some more of the corn chowder that Trev made for tea yesterday, and an early night are in order. I am keeping in mind the message from the teaching on New Year’s Eve. A calm and peaceful mind is what I am working to develop. I will develop a calm and peaceful mind.

Day 4

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Writing 2026

I had a walk on the beach today, just before lunch, a short walk from the Manjushri Kadampa Meditation Centre.

The teaching yesterday evening was inspirational, the buffet supper was delicious, and the opportunity to chant in the New Year in the company of others in the Temple was so welcome. We could hear fireworks going off outside just as we reached a quiet part of the prayer ceremony, almost as if it had been planned.

This morning – after a good sleep – I enjoyed a sociable breakfast, followed by more chanting, and a delicious – and also sociable – lunch after my walk.

Though still not in the most positive frame of mind I’ve ever been in – and I continue to attribute this to being tired as much as anything else – I now have a reminder of what I can do to have a ‘Happy New Year’: develop and maintain a calm and peaceful mind. I will keep working on it, day by day, step by step. It’s good to get clear direction; all I have to do now is follow it.

Day 2

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Writing 2026

I decided this year to make a white chocolate Christmas cake instead of a traditional fruit one, that I’ve made in previous years.

I’m glad that I did as it turned out very well, with a fruit compote filling and icing that included cream and ground almonds – delicious😋. I had some for my breakfast this morning, as I did on Christmas Day.

Lydia enjoyed her usual breakfast ball after our walk and I did a bit of tidying up in the lounge before heading out to visit a friend who now lives in a care home.

I had a bit of a chat with my friend and a couple of the other residents who were in the lounge with her, staying for about an hour before heading for home.

Our lounge is now looking a lot clearer, with Trev having done a tip run the other day and I had a good run round with the vacuum cleaner.

As I write, Lydia is crunching her way through a raw lamb rib – quite a chunky one – and I can relax as Trev’s cooking the tea tonight.

Although I’m still a bit tired, I feel that I’ve had quite a constructive day, which has included some meditation and also some chanting of prayers. The prayers do, I think, help a lot, and I find them very beautiful.

Day 1

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Writing 2026

A Christmas gift

Lydia has not yet fully accepted the Halti collar that I started using with her a few weeks ago, but we’re getting there.

As usual, we work it out between us, even if it takes a while.

There was no yoga or Qigong class today but after doing the woodland walk with Lydia this morning, I got ready to meet up with my friend Judi, who I have known for many years, since she was a friend of my Mum when I was a teenager. 

Now 85, Judi’s resilience and zest for life is an inspiration, and we resolved to meet up more often going forward.

On the way back to the car park I called in at B&M Bargains where I had earlier seen a dog bed that looked perfect for Lydia. Pleased with my purchase I returned home and am now in reflective mood.

My confidence levels have been low over the last few weeks which I know is at least in part because I’m tired. Keeping up a combination of resting, meditating and constructive, focused activity will help. As will tickling Lydia’s tummy. Of course, ‘the tickling of the tummy’ is a constructive, focused activity in itself. In fact I don’t think you can get more constructive and focused than that😊.

Day 17

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Writing again

Lydia and I were out earliesh this morning, as the sun was still rising.

It was the second day for her wearing her new collar, and she did very well.

Back home, after setting Lydi up with her breakfast ball, I set to on deep cleaning the kitchen, eating my own breakfast as I worked.

After a few hours it was time to set off to meet my friend Susie. We had a lovely walk round a lake before heading for a café to have some lunch.

Susie first introduced me to meditation around 30 years ago. I wrote a poem about our friendship a while back:

Friendship

The light of your heart

Turns forever night

into a sensation of morning

as you reach out

to illuminate the darkness and depth

of my despair

 

Almost beyond hope

I find the firm hold

of your belief in me

and then I can see

that somewhere in the future

lies a present, what will it be?

 

All I do know is that now I can say

thank you for the day

and for your friendship

that helped to show the way

2013, dedicated to my friend Susie

Back home to Lydia and, after she’d had her tea and I’d had a bit of a rest, I went out to the Buddhist group meeting.

The theme for tonight’s meeting – the first of a group of three – was ‘love’, with the emphasis on affectionate love, cherishing love and wishing love. Wishing love is about wishing for others to be happy; not just those we are close to or who we particularly care about, but all others; all living beings.

Day 15

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Writing again

Mental health Mondays do seem to come round very quickly.

Up at around 8.30 this morning, I read a few pages from ‘How to Transform Your Life’ by Venerable Geshe Keksang Gyatso, Rinpoche, before starting a meditation.

During the meditation Lydia started barking at the back door and, while I decided to continue meditating for a while, I realised that she might need to go to the toilet, and not just for a ‘peepie’, so I got us ready to go out for our ‘walkies’. Sure enough, she did her first ‘poopie’ early on in the walk and another one later. She was pulling again, picking up a scent, and I’ll be glad when her new collar arrives later today, so that I can try her with it and see if it makes a difference.

Dropped a few of my pots off at my friend’s house as her daughter – who designs interiors – may buy some. Then I headed for the jet wash as I haven’t cleaned my car for ages.

With a bit of time to spare before yoga, I filled the car with petrol then popped into Tesco’s to buy some Christmas chocolates – three for presents for people and a box of Bendicks  mints for the house. I always like to buy a box of Bendicks mints for Christmas. I don’t have many Christmas traditions but this is one of them.

Day 3

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Writing again

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

Waking this morning at around 4.20am, I get up to make a cup of tea. While waiting for the kettle to boil I snack on a few liquorice allsorts and some gummy sweets that were in the cupboard.

Back to bed, I must have dozed off for a few more hours before getting up, making another cup of tea, meditating for a short while and then deciding to take Lydia for a walk.

As I opened my eyes from the meditation, glancing towards the window I saw snow coming down.

I quickly got myself and Lydia ready to go out for a walk, in case the snow started to settle and the roads became impassable. 

This morning, I insisted that Lydia had her raincoat on over her harness. She made it clear she wasn’t keen but it was so cold and the raincoat is light, and an easy fit for her.  She was fine after being tempted into with a few treats.

The snow didn’t last, turning to icy rain, and it was bitterly cold.  Despite her thick fur and hardy nature, I think Lydia may have been glad of her extra layer. I know I was. 

Even so, and despite gloves, my hands got so cold that I can still feel them tingling, even now, over eight hours later.  Still, we had a decent walk, got home and warmed up.

Later I started to get organised for a craft fair that I’m taking some of my pots to on Saturday: Boothtown & Southowram Methodist Church Christmas Fayre, near Halifax.

It will be an early start but I’ve got it planned out so that I’ll take Lydia out early and, with the car pre-packed, set off in good time to get there in good time to be able to set up my table ready for the 11am start.

Some pot pourri that I’d ordered arrived today so I made up a couple of my bowls with some clear wrap and bows: one to donate to the church raffle and one to display and hopefully sell.

I’ve got a little bit more preparation to do before Saturday, but its mostly sorted and planned now so I can start to relax into this evening, with Trev making tea and then I’m going out to a meeting of the Buddhist group.

The theme is still ‘concentration’.  I do think I am starting to be able to concentrate more. I’m hoping that more sleep as well as more meditation will help.

Food

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 First published 18 June 2022

Photo by Faizan on Pexels.com

My relationship with food has historically been a difficult one.

As a teenager I went on a strict diet – mostly made up of cottage cheese, crispbread, lean meat and fruit – to keep me at 7/71/2 stone. That was the only way I could feel reasonably good about myself and my body.

Even so, I didn’t think anybody could possibly find me attractive, and I struggled with a very limited life.

If I ever did ‘let go’ and start to eat anything even remotely fattening, my mood plummeted as my weight gained. The only way I could cope was to start restricting my eating again. I had no concept that help or support of any kind might be available; it was a very private and lonely struggle that went on until my mid-40s. After an almost catastrophic catalogue of failed relationships and career stalemate I realised that I had to push through the internal barriers, and keep going until I came out the other side.

20 years on, at 66, I believe I have finally arrived at that point.

I weigh five stone more than I did in my teens, and though I am aiming to steadily lose some weight this won’t be my starving myself – not just of food, but of life.

There are many factors and influences that have helped me to get through, not least in recent years that of my partner, Trev, who makes me feel beautiful just as I am, inside and out. That’s a great gift to get at any age!

I’ve taken on board Buddhist teachings of all kinds, with one fundamental phrase being an enduring fallback: “The mind is a muscle and it can be changed.”

I’ve had to fight and work hard to train and change my brain and was fortunate to find the fight associated with a strong survival instinct when I needed it.

That isn’t to say that I haven’t had moments of self-loathing that threatened to be overwhelming. But I kept looking for and finding ways to be positive, including reaching out to others who were also struggling in the extreme.

I still won’t try clothes on in a shop changing room, and feel no need to put myself through that ordeal. So, while this may be evidence of ‘avoidance’ lingering in my psyche, it’s a minor issue as far as I’m concerned, and doesn’t get in the way of me living my life in a full way, including enjoying delicious food.

Bon appetit!