meditation – Glad About

Day 2

30th Dec 202530th Dec 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing 2026

I decided this year to make a white chocolate Christmas cake instead of a traditional fruit one, that I’ve made in previous years.

I’m glad that I did as it turned out very well, with a fruit compote filling and icing that included cream and ground almonds – delicious😋. I had some for my breakfast this morning, as I did on Christmas Day.

Lydia enjoyed her usual breakfast ball after our walk and I did a bit of tidying up in the lounge before heading out to visit a friend who now lives in a care home.

I had a bit of a chat with my friend and a couple of the other residents who were in the lounge with her, staying for about an hour before heading for home.

Our lounge is now looking a lot clearer, with Trev having done a tip run the other day and I had a good run round with the vacuum cleaner.

As I write, Lydia is crunching her way through a raw lamb rib – quite a chunky one – and I can relax as Trev’s cooking the tea tonight.

Although I’m still a bit tired, I feel that I’ve had quite a constructive day, which has included some meditation and also some chanting of prayers. The prayers do, I think, help a lot, and I find them very beautiful.

Day 1

29th Dec 202530th Dec 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing 2026

Lydia has not yet fully accepted the Halti collar that I started using with her a few weeks ago, but we’re getting there.

As usual, we work it out between us, even if it takes a while.

There was no yoga or Qigong class today but after doing the woodland walk with Lydia this morning, I got ready to meet up with my friend Judi, who I have known for many years, since she was a friend of my Mum when I was a teenager.

Now 85, Judi’s resilience and zest for life is an inspiration, and we resolved to meet up more often going forward.

On the way back to the car park I called in at B&M Bargains where I had earlier seen a dog bed that looked perfect for Lydia. Pleased with my purchase I returned home and am now in reflective mood.

My confidence levels have been low over the last few weeks which I know is at least in part because I’m tired. Keeping up a combination of resting, meditating and constructive, focused activity will help. As will tickling Lydia’s tummy. Of course, ‘the tickling of the tummy’ is a constructive, focused activity in itself. In fact I don’t think you can get more constructive and focused than that😊.

Day 17

3rd Dec 20253rd Dec 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing again

Lydia and I were out earliesh this morning, as the sun was still rising.

It was the second day for her wearing her new collar, and she did very well.

Back home, after setting Lydi up with her breakfast ball, I set to on deep cleaning the kitchen, eating my own breakfast as I worked.

After a few hours it was time to set off to meet my friend Susie. We had a lovely walk round a lake before heading for a café to have some lunch.

Susie first introduced me to meditation around 30 years ago. I wrote a poem about our friendship a while back:

Friendship

The light of your heart

Turns forever night

into a sensation of morning

as you reach out

to illuminate the darkness and depth

of my despair

Almost beyond hope

I find the firm hold

of your belief in me

and then I can see

that somewhere in the future

lies a present, what will it be?

All I do know is that now I can say

thank you for the day

and for your friendship

that helped to show the way

2013, dedicated to my friend Susie

Back home to Lydia and, after she’d had her tea and I’d had a bit of a rest, I went out to the Buddhist group meeting.

The theme for tonight’s meeting – the first of a group of three – was ‘love’, with the emphasis on affectionate love, cherishing love and wishing love. Wishing love is about wishing for others to be happy; not just those we are close to or who we particularly care about, but all others; all living beings.

Day 15

1st Dec 20252nd Dec 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing again

Mental health Mondays do seem to come round very quickly.

Up at around 8.30 this morning, I read a few pages from ‘How to Transform Your Life’ by Venerable Geshe Keksang Gyatso, Rinpoche, before starting a meditation.

During the meditation Lydia started barking at the back door and, while I decided to continue meditating for a while, I realised that she might need to go to the toilet, and not just for a ‘peepie’, so I got us ready to go out for our ‘walkies’. Sure enough, she did her first ‘poopie’ early on in the walk and another one later. She was pulling again, picking up a scent, and I’ll be glad when her new collar arrives later today, so that I can try her with it and see if it makes a difference.

Dropped a few of my pots off at my friend’s house as her daughter – who designs interiors – may buy some. Then I headed for the jet wash as I haven’t cleaned my car for ages.

With a bit of time to spare before yoga, I filled the car with petrol then popped into Tesco’s to buy some Christmas chocolates – three for presents for people and a box of Bendicks mints for the house. I always like to buy a box of Bendicks mints for Christmas. I don’t have many Christmas traditions but this is one of them.

Day 3

19th Nov 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing again

*Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com*

Waking this morning at around 4.20am, I get up to make a cup of tea. While waiting for the kettle to boil I snack on a few liquorice allsorts and some gummy sweets that were in the cupboard.

Back to bed, I must have dozed off for a few more hours before getting up, making another cup of tea, meditating for a short while and then deciding to take Lydia for a walk.

As I opened my eyes from the meditation, glancing towards the window I saw snow coming down.

I quickly got myself and Lydia ready to go out for a walk, in case the snow started to settle and the roads became impassable.

This morning, I insisted that Lydia had her raincoat on over her harness. She made it clear she wasn’t keen but it was so cold and the raincoat is light, and an easy fit for her. She was fine after being tempted into with a few treats.

The snow didn’t last, turning to icy rain, and it was bitterly cold. Despite her thick fur and hardy nature, I think Lydia may have been glad of her extra layer. I know I was.

Even so, and despite gloves, my hands got so cold that I can still feel them tingling, even now, over eight hours later. Still, we had a decent walk, got home and warmed up.

Later I started to get organised for a craft fair that I’m taking some of my pots to on Saturday: Boothtown & Southowram Methodist Church Christmas Fayre, near Halifax.

It will be an early start but I’ve got it planned out so that I’ll take Lydia out early and, with the car pre-packed, set off in good time to get there in good time to be able to set up my table ready for the 11am start.

Some pot pourri that I’d ordered arrived today so I made up a couple of my bowls with some clear wrap and bows: one to donate to the church raffle and one to display and hopefully sell.

I’ve got a little bit more preparation to do before Saturday, but its mostly sorted and planned now so I can start to relax into this evening, with Trev making tea and then I’m going out to a meeting of the Buddhist group.

The theme is still ‘concentration’. I do think I am starting to be able to concentrate more. I’m hoping that more sleep as well as more meditation will help.

Food

10th Nov 202510th Nov 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

First published 18 June 2022

My relationship with food has historically been a difficult one.

As a teenager I went on a strict diet – mostly made up of cottage cheese, crispbread, lean meat and fruit – to keep me at 7/7^1/2 stone. That was the only way I could feel reasonably good about myself and my body.

Even so, I didn’t think anybody could possibly find me attractive, and I struggled with a very limited life.

If I ever did ‘let go’ and start to eat anything even remotely fattening, my mood plummeted as my weight gained. The only way I could cope was to start restricting my eating again. I had no concept that help or support of any kind might be available; it was a very private and lonely struggle that went on until my mid-40s. After an almost catastrophic catalogue of failed relationships and career stalemate I realised that I had to push through the internal barriers, and keep going until I came out the other side.

20 years on, at 66, I believe I have finally arrived at that point.

I weigh five stone more than I did in my teens, and though I am aiming to steadily lose some weight this won’t be my starving myself – not just of food, but of life.

There are many factors and influences that have helped me to get through, not least in recent years that of my partner, Trev, who makes me feel beautiful just as I am, inside and out. That’s a great gift to get at any age!

I’ve taken on board Buddhist teachings of all kinds, with one fundamental phrase being an enduring fallback: “The mind is a muscle and it can be changed.”

I’ve had to fight and work hard to train and change my brain and was fortunate to find the fight associated with a strong survival instinct when I needed it.

That isn’t to say that I haven’t had moments of self-loathing that threatened to be overwhelming. But I kept looking for and finding ways to be positive, including reaching out to others who were also struggling in the extreme.

I still won’t try clothes on in a shop changing room, and feel no need to put myself through that ordeal. So, while this may be evidence of ‘avoidance’ lingering in my psyche, it’s a minor issue as far as I’m concerned, and doesn’t get in the way of me living my life in a full way, including enjoying delicious food.

Bon appetit!

About Time

9th Nov 20259th Nov 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

First published 1st March 2022

When I went through a major breakdown in my late thirties, one of the many things I struggled to come to terms with, as I fought my way back to functionality, was the sense of all the ‘wasted time’ that had gone into building a life that at that stage had come to ‘nothing’.

Roll on more than a quarter of a century, and I’ve had a significant shift in mindset. As each day unfolds, I feel a strong sense of being gifted with it; of having all the time in the world. ‘Making the most of it’ can mean anything I want it to mean, whether that be resting, walking, making something out of clay, washing up, doing housework, doing nothing.

So, how did I get from where I was to where I am now?

I’m not sure, because it’s all a bit of a blur, but I know I’ve done a lot of meditating, a lot of searching, a lot of turning myself inside out, of fighting the thoughts that threatened to pull me into despair, a lot of reaching out, falling, getting up again and trying something else.

Sometimes the last push is the hardest and coming to terms with things that I couldn’t change took some doing. At around the same time that I had a counsellor who was determined to avoid the key issues that I needed to address, I came across a Buddhist teaching that helped me enormously: https://madhyamaka.org/how-to-accept-what-cant-be-changed/.

The lingering sadness associated with not having been able to form a family of my own has taken a different turn recently, in the form of a furry friend. She’s not a baby; she’s an adult dog. However, she’s done something to my heart that’s filled a gap I never thought could be filled. Time isn’t about what’s past or ‘lost’, it’s about being here and now, with my partner, and our dog.

Day 24

29th Oct 202530th Oct 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing into Life, more

Tonight’s Buddhist class completes the five-week course on ‘Embracing Change’.

Change can happen in so many ways, on so many levels.

In my experience, I have not always known why I have not been able to ‘let go’ and move on at times. I think, now, I have more insight into why, and it’s because of the deep inner healing that I needed to do. It’s understandable to want to do that in a safe way, at a safe time, so that when the wound is exposed, it won’t be subject to any more damage.

Sometimes, however, circumstances force us to push through pain on a survival basis. How amazing then, to be in those circumstances and somehow find that you have got access to the support that you need to heal, from sources that in the past you could not have even imagined existed, yet somehow, they do. That’s where I’m at now.

And, for now, I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing; different things on different days. Today it was painting, white emulsion on walls; tomorrow I’ll go to pottery in the afternoon. Walking Lydia, of course, in the mornings, is such a good thing, I’m pretty sure for both of us. Meditating, practising yoga and Qigong, listening to the teachings of Buddha passed on through the Kadampa lineage. Meeting up with friends, chatting with neighbours. More painting of walls until that job is done, then I’ll move on to do something else. I know this is all leading to further change, and I am becoming more able to embrace the uncertainty of what lies ahead.

Day 14

19th Oct 202519th Oct 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing into Life, more

Lydia and I did a double circuit of the woodland walk today. She was a bit reluctant to go round again, but soon started to enjoy more sniffs and it gave us both a good dose of fresh autumn air and gentle cardiovascular exercise.

Did some cupboard clearing and cleaning later, with a few things loaded into my car, ready for a tip run tomorrow.

I’ve had regular resting sessions between my exertions, meditating from a horizontal position which may not follow the guidance to the letter, but it’s worked for me today. Feeling much calmer – more of the time – than a few days ago. It’s also helped enormously having support from friends. So lucky to have them in my life, including Lydia, of course. A very faithful friend.

Day 10

15th Oct 202515th Oct 2025 'A Poetic Potter & A Potting Poet'Leave a comment

Writing into Life, more

*Photo by Leeloo The First on Pexels.com*

‘Change’ continues to be theme of the Buddhist class teachings at the moment – tonight will be week 3 of a 5-week course.

There’s a lot of internal and external change going on for me at the moment.

Historically, I’ve worked through a lot of change, in different ways, but more is on it’s way, rising from deep within and arising from outside sources.

This is leading me to feel a resurgence of anxiety that I had a massive bout of a while back, earlier in the year. Then, I was waking with fear in my gut, leading to nausea and retching. The retching isn’t so bad just now, I think largely because of a lot of the work I’ve been doing to keep myself calm, through meditation, yoga, Qigong, walking, working with clay. Even so, I’m having to work really hard today to achieve a sense of calm, and I can’t concentrate for very long at all. So, I’ve chosen to rest into it, not push myself, and to focus on bringing my awareness to the absence of any immediate threats. The fear that I’m feeling is in my mind, to do with past experiences and the unknowns of the future. But I’m OK today. That’s what I tell myself and keep telling myself. I’m OK today.

Lydia showed signs of fear this morning when we saw a dog in the distance. The other dog – Elkie – is one we’ve seen before and her owner is sensitive to our needs. He makes sure his dog doesn’t get too close to Lydia while I make sure that I keep the distance from our side too. I do what I can to help and talk her through the experience in what I hope is a reassuring way. She still growls, snarls, barks and tries to lunge, but I hold her on a short lead while stroking her head and ears. We turn to walk in the opposite direction, she has a good shake, and I start using the “heel” command combined with “Yes” and treats to mark and reward. It isn’t long before she’s settled down fairly soon to a steady pace and we resume our walk. I tell her how well she’s done and even though I don’t think she understands this, I hope she picks up the praise from my tone of voice at least. She gets more “good girl” treats as we’re going along. I also repeatedly tell her that we’re OK, that she’s OK, that we’re all OK.

We’ve both still got a long way to go to work through our fears, and all we can do is keep trying, following the guidance we’ve been given, learning, reflecting reviewing, and repeating as and when needed, for as long as it takes.