Lydia has not yet fully accepted the Halti collar that I started using with her a few weeks ago, but we’re getting there.
As usual, we work it out between us, even if it takes a while.
There was no yoga or Qigong class today but after doing the woodland walk with Lydia this morning, I got ready to meet up with my friend Judi, who I have known for many years, since she was a friend of my Mum when I was a teenager.
Now 85, Judi’s resilience and zest for life is an inspiration, and we resolved to meet up more often going forward.
On the way back to the car park I called in at B&M Bargains where I had earlier seen a dog bed that looked perfect for Lydia. Pleased with my purchase I returned home and am now in reflective mood.
My confidence levels have been low over the last few weeks which I know is at least in part because I’m tired. Keeping up a combination of resting, meditating and constructive, focused activity will help. As will tickling Lydia’s tummy. Of course, ‘the tickling of the tummy’ is a constructive, focused activity in itself. In fact I don’t think you can get more constructive and focused than thatš.
I brought two finished pieces home with me from the pottery studio this afternoon.
The two pieces are very different.
One was thrown on the wheel, turned to trim off and shape, then decorated using a technique that I’ve been developing, using layers of underglaze applied with small separate brush strokes.
The other is hand-built, in a freestyle form, using coils and creating texture with various implements and materials.
The former is, I think, a vase. The latter Iām going to use as a candlestick.
On the way home from the studio I stopped off to do some shopping for groceries.
The house was dark when I got back. Trev was out but Lydia was there to greet me.
She hadnāt been on her own for long and doesnāt get separation anxiety like a lot of dogs do.
Even so, she was pleased to see me and, after putting the shopping away, it was time for her tea.
Trev brought fish and chips back for ours which I thoroughly enjoyed, complete with curry sauce, of course!
I made one pot and started another at the pottery studio today.
I didnāt have a particular idea in mind when I arrived about what I wanted to do or what I wanted to make so I located a plaster press mould that Iāve used before, cut off a slab of clay, gathered a few tools and some canvas to work on, and made a start.
The pots are going to be candlesticks: a non-matching pair.
I used a construction technique that I havenāt used before, using the press mould to form a base and then alternating layers of rolled coils with rolled up, rounded lumps.Ā
When the coils sank in places I accepted this as part of the process so the pieces are a bit wobbly and lop-sided, which I like.
Lydia jumped onto the grooming table as we arrived at our appointment this morning, without any prompting from either me or Vicky, the groomer. Each time we go she is more relaxed about the process, although I still put a muzzle on her and feed her lots of treats through it, reinforcing the positive and managing the risk at the same time.
After grooming we went for a walk and then home. For once she didnāt push her breakfast ball around until it was empty ā she was still so full of treats.
This afternoon I drove to the Buddhist Centre, to do a few hours of voluntary work that Iāve offered to do.
It felt good to work in a different environment and also to not feel rushed or pressurised in any way. After being introduced to the work that needed doing, I was left to get on with it and given a few encouraging comments along the way. The work was a simple physical activity although I did need to concentrate and apply sustained effort, which I did for almost three hours before heading for home.
It’s another early start tomorrow as Iām setting up a table at the Bootham & Southowram Methodist Church Christmas Fayre. So, Iāll take Lydia out for a walk just before dawn, pack a few remaining things that I need to take into the car and head off.
Todayās been a good day and weāll see what tomorrow brings.
Had a lovely afternoon at the pottery studio today.
Thanks to Karen, Charlotte, Jenny, Lee and Sarah for their company and friendly conversation. Such a lovely atmosphere. I finished off some pots that Iāve been working on for a few months, spraying on a glaze layer before the final ā stoneware ā firing. I have some different decorating techniques that Iāve been experimenting with, so looking forward to seeing how they turn out.
Also started on some new work ā hand built ā trying out different textures and making some use of plaster moulds. I finished one pieceĀ and left it on the shelf for a bisque firing.Ā Two others are in progress, wrapped up in plastic and placed in a damp cupboard so that theyāll be still in workable form in a couple of weeks.
Home to my lovely Lydia, sheās had her tea and is now sitting outside ā occasionally barking.
Trevās bringing fish and chips back for our tea, so no need for me to do anything much more than finish this post and enjoy a cold beer ā sipped from a champagne glass, of course!
1978 was not a good year, for me even though I hold it dear
Try as I might I could not find the key to unlock my brain work out its mystery
Lurching this way and that never finding a hold I fell so many times but got ever more bold
Crashing right down I broke back to the core then inched my way through to daylight once more
The clay in my hand is the life that Iāve led I’ve cried, ached and screamed and wished I was dead
But I never gave up and I never gave in I just kept on going and drank lots of gin
Joking aside ā though I do like a drop ā I feel like Iāve won Iāve come out on top
For I have love in my life a treasure most true Iām here and Iām now simply human, through and through
2021
1978 was the year I graduated with a degree in Ceramics from Bristol Polytechnic.
Iād reached out to art in my teens as a way of asserting a direction, without knowing where that direction might take me. It was driven by some deep-rooted instinct; an instinct which for a long time I thought had failed me. But it hadn’t.
As itās turned out, my life has taken many ātwists and turns, and loops and leapsā, most of which have left me struggling to find a foothold. Finally, however, I feel I am on firm ground, and astonished to find myself turning back to working with clay, after a break of over 40 years.
Whatās even more astonishing is that Iām not only loving working with the medium, Iāve got ideas coming into my head from goodness knows where. Iām not having to push myself just to produce something, anything, as I did when I was at college (although I was proud of what I did produce in the end; it was no easy feat, considering the complexity of mental health problems I was dealing with).
Art didnāt work as a therapy for me when I was younger; the damage went too deep and I had to find ways to dig it out ā just like clay has to be dug out. What Iāve got now is malleable and mouldable in whatever way I choose. I can be creative in any way or ways that suit me; working with clay or words; working with my life.
I hope my pots can be poetic; and that my poetry will continue to be potty.
After a morning walk with Lydia, I spent an afternoon at the studio, doing some further work on pots I started a while ago.
Itās a slow process for me, but a good one.
It was good too to be in the company of people that I havenāt been in the company of for a while.Ā
The studio shutters were up and the rain belted down at times. It felt a bit like being in a tent when itās raining, a sensation Iāve always loved, providing the tent itself isnāt leaking.
Before the studio session, I picked up some pots from Imogen who had fired them for me. Iām particularly pleased with two bowls that were a bit experimental in terms of finish. Experiments do sometimes pay off.
Coming home, I give Lydia her tea ā hand-fed as always. She loves it, especially finishing with a raw chicken wing, followed by a dental stick. Her teeth are in really good condition Iām pleased to say.
Trev brings home fish and chips. I have mine with curry sauce.
Itās a mellow evening as we move from summer to autumn. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?
After dropping my pots off yesterday with Imogen, who runs the firing service that I use, I went to the pottery studio. There I had a quiet afternoon making more pots. I didnāt count how many I made. I discarded one and there was another that I could have discarded but I chose to keep it. It has a quirky shape, not quite what I was aiming for at the time ā my throwing skills are still very much in development:) ā but it may turn out to be a pot that somebody chooses to buy, and loves.
This morning, I lie in until about 9.30, although get up a few times to let Lydia out into the back yard and then go out to her when she starts barking.Ā I give her a good ārub-a-dub-dubā massage to help calm her down and she settles again, for a while.
Itās another hot day so we only have a short walk but itās a relaxed one. Lydia is walking by my side, to heel, most of the time. She does start to lunge and bark at a passing car but I do what the behaviourist taught me to do and then give her plenty of verbal reassurance, combined with some more ārub-a-dub-dubā. I think sheās started to associate the phrase with the massage now, so weāll keep working on it.
I notice that my knee is a lot better; the right one that I tend to have problems with. I also notice that Iām spending more time rubbing in the āwear and tearā lubricating gel that I bought, to help with it. The combination of gel, affirmation, physio exercises and joint care vitamin and mineral supplement is working. Slowing down the pace, focusing on priorities, is working too, for Lydia and for me. The stress that I had been feeling a few days ago is dissolving, for now at least. How wonderful this weather is; long may it last.
Lydia and I have both had healthy breakfasts today.
Her dry food has a high protein content, with lots of different ingredients including pumpkin, chickpeas, salmon oil, blueberries, dried ginger root, green-lipped mussels, glucosamine, chondroitin, Vitamin C, and others.
These pellets form the main basis of her diet, which I top up with additional food and treats. I try to make sure that the treats also have a high nutritional value.
I hope that her diet, combined with our regular exercise, combined with our training routines, will help to keep her healthy in mind and body. I hope that the love and attention I give her will help to keep her healthy in spirit.
My own breakfast this morning took the form of half a banana, some fresh strawberries, natural yoghurt, no-added-sugar muesli and some semi-skimmed milk. Historically I havenāt always been great at making sure that I have a healthy diet, but Iām getting better at it now. Iāve previously worked through an eating disorder and body dysmorphia, so itās taken me a while to reach a point of having a healthy attitude to food. I do now though, on the whole.
In this blog Iāve most recently been writing about life with reference largely to my relationship with Lydia. This is because we are working together, Lydia and Me. She is learning to āheelā and I am learning to āhealā. In fact, we are both learning to heal, and we are helping each other.
Pottery also features as part of the healing process for me.
While I describe myself as a āPoetic Potterā and a āPotting Poetā, I havenāt written a lot of poems recently.
I used to write more poetry, particularly when I had no other outlet for or inclination towards the creative arts. I do, however, belong to a poetry group, a poetry ācornerā.
We meet once a month in a local library. Itās the library in the town where I was born.
Each month, we set a theme for the following monthās meeting. This month, the āthemeā is the name of the town where we meet; the town where I was born.
The ethos of our group is one of positive feedback; it is a very gentle and supportive group, facilitated by a very gentle and supportive leader. We get a chance to read out poems that weāve written, and to receive comments about them. This is the poem that I have written for the next meeting:
The Library
We met in a library Itās a different library to the one I meet others in, today
Since then a lot of waves have washed upon the shore and pulled back into nothing at all
I have little in the way of recall to the times between but that doesnāt mean I donāt or didnāt care
It just means I am aware of a great tidal void between then and now
Except that in this library at this time I am nowhere near the same as I was in that library, then
A fellow member of the group described the meetings as āsoul foodā.
Iām looking forward to some spiritual sustenance on Saturday, when we have our meeting.Ā Iām also looking forward to further spiritual sustenance tonight, when I go to the Buddhist meeting. This will be for the second in the latest group of four classes: āTransforming Through Adversityā. Ā
One of my bowls, featured on a friend’s windowsill
Yesterday’s combination of walking, yoga and Qigong worked well as I had a restful evening and a good night’s sleep.
I did wake up at around 3am when dawn was already breaking and the birds were already singing. Listening to the birds, the sound of the wind and what was at one point quite heavy rain, I fell back to sleep and woke feeling refreshed, ready to make the most of today.
It’s been a good start so far.
Lydia and I have had a wild and wonderful walk, with the weather warm and slightly breezy. The sun came out too.
It’s a Tuesday, so I’ll go and visit my friend in the village this afternoon. I go every Tuesday, for a couple of hours in the afternoon. We usually go out for a stroll, if the weather’s OK. More fresh air! More exercise!
Lydia is outside enjoying some sunshine now.
I’m going to start making arrangements for my latest pots to be fired.
I don’t have a kiln at home – yet – but I do know someone who runs a firing service. We arrange a time and a place around mid-way between her home and mine, for drop-off and pick-up. She provides a very good service; takes the greatest care.
I have plenty of time before the next planned event for selling my wares – the Aldborough & Boroughbridge Show:
Consolidation is going to be a theme for me, going forward, for the foreseeable. I’m not quite sure as yet what form the process of consolidation will take, or what forms my pots may take, but process and pots will take form, one way or another.
Glad About 
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