I made one pot and started another at the pottery studio today.
I didn’t have a particular idea in mind when I arrived about what I wanted to do or what I wanted to make so I located a plaster press mould that I’ve used before, cut off a slab of clay, gathered a few tools and some canvas to work on, and made a start.
The pots are going to be candlesticks: a non-matching pair.
I used a construction technique that I haven’t used before, using the press mould to form a base and then alternating layers of rolled coils with rolled up, rounded lumps.
When the coils sank in places I accepted this as part of the process so the pieces are a bit wobbly and lop-sided, which I like.
43 years ago, when I graduated with a degree in Ceramics, I knew that there was something wrong with me – mentally, emotionally – but I didn’t know what or how to deal with it. Since then, I’ve been close to the edge more than once and in more ways than one. I nearly lost my life during a psychotic experience in Iceland, felt broken to the point where I didn’t think I could possibly mend, and ultimately pushed myself through such extreme, painful experiences that many times I wondered why.
Thankfully, I also thought ‘why not?’ and bit by bit I found a way through.
Being in survival mode doesn’t leave any energy for forward planning, including consideration of what I would do when I retired. The idea of doing some work with clay again suddenly came out of ‘nowhere’ and I’ve been enjoying going to workshop sessions at a studio not too far from where I live. However, I also thought it would be good to be able to do some work from home, especially during the winter months when I can’t work outside in the garden.
The work I produced at college for my degree show was fired initially to bisque level and then finished in a sawdust kiln. We have no space here for a proper kiln but I’ve been exploring possibilities for sawdust firing; even firing ‘greenware’, that is without having put the pieces through the initial bisque firing. This will produce porous pots that are not ‘vitrified’ as they are when fired to higher temperatures, but some beautiful subtle effects can be obtained.
So with a few basic tools and a dining table, I’m off to a good start. I’m still going to continue to attend the studio sessions – apart from anything else it’s a lovely encouraging atmosphere and I enjoy the companionship and sense of shared experience. But it’s also great to be able to ‘sit and do’ at home – to make whatever I want to make – without time constraints or consideration of anything other than what I’m working on.
This brings me to Poetry/Pottery Rule No. 20: Enjoy the process.
Now that does sound like a plan – the housework may not get done, but these are pots that won’t need washing up!
The pathways of my mind Are not defined Just like well-pruned roses They shoot and sprout In all sorts of places At paces I know nothing about
The slate chippings in my garden Are sharp and grey They lay flat and easy In the spaces that I make Not knowing why Or how long it will take
Praying to the sky Leaves turn green and fall Orange, yellow, gold Flowers unfold Well-pruned roses Always turn out best Until it’s time to weed again And then it’s time to rest
Places that I know nothing about Spaces that I make The garden of my mind is growing Like a well-pruned rose That buds and blooms Before it goes
Eventually the birds will come To sing their song In the garden of my well-pruned mind Where they belong
After yesterday’s sensation of clarity and light emerging, today brings an inner pull into heavy and dark.
Recognising this as part of a process is important. The dark thoughts are the deluded thoughts; the process of moving from dark to light takes time and effort; practice, patience and persistence.
Following an early visit with Lydia to Vicky the groomer and then a walk, after breakfast – kindly cooked for me by Trev in the form of porridge and a cup of fresh coffee – I went back to bed for a few hours. Lydia was also happy to rest.
It’s unusual for me, these days, to do this. I do generally need to go to bed early and get up late when I can, but this morning it’s fair to say that I felt a pull into dark at a deep level and decided to rest. I have enough positive activity built into my week generally to be able to give in to that inward pull occasionally, and today I needed to just be with it.
Yesterday I missed both yoga and Qigong as I had to get my car fixed. I think this may have played no small part in how I feel today. However, after a couple of hours resting, I get up, brush my hair, put on some make up, give Lydia some fuss, open the back door so that she can enjoy the fresh air, and start writing.
Writing is helping me to process, just like other things are. I’m visiting M in her care home this afternoon and we should be able to go outside into the garden as we usually do on a fine day. I enjoy reading to her; short stories from a magazine. She usually dozes off when I do, which I take as no reflection on my reading style, just a sign that she is relaxed and comfortable in my company. I hope so.
Before heading out I remember to meditate. I don’t have to sit cross-legged – thank goodness, because I couldn’t – but adopt a comfortable seated upright posture and focus on my breath. Fresh air coming through the back door helps.
Glad About 
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