Tag: relaxation

Day 1

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Writing 2026

A Christmas gift

Lydia has not yet fully accepted the Halti collar that I started using with her a few weeks ago, but we’re getting there.

As usual, we work it out between us, even if it takes a while.

There was no yoga or Qigong class today but after doing the woodland walk with Lydia this morning, I got ready to meet up with my friend Judi, who I have known for many years, since she was a friend of my Mum when I was a teenager. 

Now 85, Judi’s resilience and zest for life is an inspiration, and we resolved to meet up more often going forward.

On the way back to the car park I called in at B&M Bargains where I had earlier seen a dog bed that looked perfect for Lydia. Pleased with my purchase I returned home and am now in reflective mood.

My confidence levels have been low over the last few weeks which I know is at least in part because I’m tired. Keeping up a combination of resting, meditating and constructive, focused activity will help. As will tickling Lydia’s tummy. Of course, ‘the tickling of the tummy’ is a constructive, focused activity in itself. In fact I don’t think you can get more constructive and focused than that😊.

Day 24

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Writing again

My car was booked in for a service this morning so Trev followed me round in his car to the service centre, where I transferred Lydia from my car to his so that I could walk her on the way home.

The car was ready by early afternoon and it was a clear and mild day so I walked back to pick it up.

Later in the afternoon I had a bath – the first bath I’ve had in a long time. Showers are so much easier in so many ways but I did enjoy a good soak, with the addition of some mineral salts and an essential oil – ylang ylang.

The theme for the current Buddhist course – last week, this week and next week – is ‘love’. This week the emphasis was on ‘affectionate love’; a love that is free from delusions such as attachment and anger.

It is such a lovely theme to explore in the context of Buddha’s teachings and feels especially so at this time of the year. I consider myself very fortunate to be able to receive such wonderful words of wisdom.

Day 8

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Writing again

There was no Qigong today so I’ve just been to yoga this afternoon.

Lydia reacted when she saw two other dogs this morning, despite the distance between us. After that she struggled to settle down for the rest of the walk, and I struggled a bit with yoga.

I know I’m tired at the moment and, though starting to sleep better, have still not had a deep sleep that will, I think, make a difference.

I’m keeping up with caffeine-free afternoons and concentrating on doing constructive things when I can, so I’m hoping that I will eventually fall into that elusive deep sleep.

Lydia has already settled down for the evening. She’s had her tea and is curled up in her armchair. She’s presented her tummy to me for tickling twice since I got back so I think its fair to say that she’s relaxed at home even if she isn’t always when we’re outside.

I’ve finally found something to binge-watch on the telly and I did a bit of reading this morning. So I’m starting to relax a bit too.

 

Day 27

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Writing into Life, more

Today I applied the second coat of paint to the walls of the landing and the stairs.

It’s good quality paint which flows well and only drips if I overload my brush, which I do – sometimes.

I wipe up drip spots as I’m going along, and make steady progress. In a few hours, it’s done.

I clean brushes, put clothes and cloths into the washing machine, then rest for a while. Lydia comes to join me.

I’ve got some more painting work lined up for tomorrow but for now I can just relax. Time to give Lydia her tea and make ours. I think it will be early to bed for me.

Day 17 – Yesterday

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Writing into Life

Today I woke feel rested at a very deep level; I could feel another shift, slowly but surely in a positive direction.  It doesn’t matter how slow; a small shift is a shift nonetheless.

Yesterday, after a short meditation combined with a cup of tea, I had a lovely walk with Lydia, a long lunch with a friend, did a bit – just a bit – of domestic activity in the afternoon, went to the Buddhist class in the evening and then, back at home, watched a couple of episodes of ‘Married at First Sight: Australia’.  I also enjoyed, while watching the telly, a glass of red wine and some of the delicious houmous that Trev had made earlier.  A bag of cheese puffs rounded off the day nicely.

The themes of MAFSAU and the Buddhist class were the same: happiness.  It’s what we all seek, and we look for it in different ways in different places.

The Buddhist teachings tell me that happiness naturally arises from a calm and peaceful mind.  I now take this on faith and continue to do my best to put the teachings – including the meditation techniques – into practice.  This doesn’t mean that I have to deny myself all worldly pleasures, just recognise that they have their limits and are not a lasting source of happiness. This is what I now believe.

Though a slow process, my ongoing programme of wellbeing activities does seem to be working.

Although I could readily have gone back to bed this morning, after a walk with Lydia through the woods, I felt energised enough to start writing this blog, to check in with Trev, to confirm that I’d make a cottage pie later for tea, and to take my time to let the rest of the day unfold.  I’m booked in to a yoga class later. Tomorrow I’m going to the races but I don’t need to rush to do anything much more today.

I used to feel that I was falling short by not being able to build up and maintain a momentum.  I now recognise that if slow is the momentum that works for me, then slow is the momentum I’ll work with.

Day 15 – Change

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Writing into Life

 

After yesterday’s sensation of clarity and light emerging, today brings an inner pull into heavy and dark.

Recognising this as part of a process is important.  The dark thoughts are the deluded thoughts; the process of moving from dark to light takes time and effort; practice, patience and persistence.

Following an early visit with Lydia to Vicky the groomer and then a walk, after breakfast – kindly cooked for me by Trev in the form of porridge and a cup of fresh coffee – I went back to bed for a few hours. Lydia was also happy to rest.

It’s unusual for me, these days, to do this.  I do generally need to go to bed early and get up late when I can, but this morning it’s fair to say that I felt a pull into dark at a deep level and decided to rest.  I have enough positive activity built into my week generally to be able to give in to that inward pull occasionally, and today I needed to just be with it.

Yesterday I missed both yoga and Qigong as I had to get my car fixed.  I think this may have played no small part in how I feel today.  However, after a couple of hours resting, I get up, brush my hair, put on some make up, give Lydia some fuss, open the back door so that she can enjoy the fresh air, and start writing. 

Writing is helping me to process, just like other things are.  I’m visiting M in her care home this afternoon and we should be able to go outside into the garden as we usually do on a fine day. I enjoy reading to her; short stories from a magazine.  She usually dozes off when I do, which I take as no reflection on my reading style, just a sign that she is relaxed and comfortable in my company. I hope so. 

Before heading out I remember to meditate. I don’t have to sit cross-legged – thank goodness, because I couldn’t – but adopt a comfortable seated upright posture and focus on my breath. Fresh air coming through the back door helps.

 

 

 

Day 15

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

“She’s a beautiful soul.”

These were words spoken to me this morning when I picked Lydia up from the kennels where she’d been staying over the weekend.

I’ve always thought this myself, because she is.

We had a good walk together, before I took her home, and she’s enjoyed much of the day outside in the yard, in what is warm and rather windy weather.

After a two-week break I resumed my usual ‘Mental Health Monday’ activities this afternoon: yoga followed by Qigong.

So, I’ve had two-and-a-half hours of concentrated activity for health and wellbeing with the added benefit – for brief periods – of being a tiger, a dog, a cat, a tree, a warrior and a dragon.

I don’t feel a need to compare and say which of these I’ve preferred being, but I did like the dragon movements.

I can now relax into a mellow evening knowing that I have given important attention to my musculoskeletal system as well as my mind and spirit. I think my girl with the beautiful soul is quite relaxed too; still in the back yard; still enjoying the warm and windy weather.

Day 14

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

After a long day at the Show, I’m enjoying a large g&t and reflecting on the list from yesterday’s post. My focus is on ‘Let ourselves be held’.

I’m not sure if this means emotionally, psychologically, spiritually or physically. Probably any or all four or a combination.

I’m not good at letting myself be held, and neither is Lydia.

She now lets me give her massages (the “rub-a-dub-dub” massages I’ve referred to in previous posts) but she still doesn’t let me fully ‘hold’ her when we’re out walking, in terms of believing that I will keep her safe.  She’s been too badly traumatised in the past.

I’ve had to be so self-reliant for much of my life that  I will always fall back on myself too. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing, but historically I’ve tended to look out for others, while at the same time my own needs weren’t being met. That’s not because I’m a selfless saint, but it is because I really don’t want anyone to have to go through what I’ve been through in my life if there is anything I can do to help them not to.  I just don’t like that level of waste.

Looking again at the list, I’m drawn to ‘nourish our senses’.

My senses feel jaded, as if nothing is fresh and invigorating any more. This is where Lydia comes in to help, as I do find our walks together on a morning have a stimulating effect on my senses, even if it’s still at a low level of intensity.

I’m certainly much more open to ‘imperfection’ than I used to be. I can still be a bit obsessive about details, but more able to let things go.

I can only ‘do one thing at a time’ these days, and very slowly, so I’m doing OK there.                                         

I’m not always great at being able to ‘ask for help’ although at least I know now that help can be sought out. In the first half of my life, I had no idea that such a thing might be available, never mind what form it could take.

‘Expressing emotions’ is complicated, I find. I’ll keep  trying to work that one out.

I do ‘create daily rituals and routines’ although I tend to need to be flexible on timings and interpret this very broadly.

It may be a while yet before Lydia and I are both as relaxed as we need to be, but we’re working – and resting – on it.

The fact that my partner has just made a delicious meal while I’ve been resting helps enormously.

Day 13

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

The sawdust firing went well. All the pots now carry various shades of smoky grey. They are not fully vitrified but significantly less porous than when they were in the ‘bisque’ or ‘biscuit’ state. I’m not sure what temperature the sawdust kiln reaches and will have to do some tests in future firings to find out. 

None of the results are what I would call ‘spectacular’; they are more subtle, although I will continue to experiment with different materials and I think the copper wire has a lot of potential for creating interest effects around the outside of pots.

All my pieces for the Show[1] are now packed in the car.

It’s an early start in the morning, so an early night for me.

I keep thinking that I can hear Lydia moving about the house but of course she is in kennels this weekend.

My partner is out with a friend so I have the house to myself. 

A friend from the Buddhist group I belong to circulated a list of ways that we can help our nervous systems to rest and recuperate.  I’ll use this list to help me with the work I’m doing with my own dysregulated nervous system as well as Lydia’s:

Slow down

Allow imperfection

Do one thing at a time

Sense our breath and our body

Create daily rituals and rhythms

Offer ourselves compassion

Lengthen our exhales

Express our emotions

Honour our needs

Nourish our senses

Ask for help

Let ourselves be held

[source: Nicola Jane Hobbs, c/o Jilly]

[1] Aldborough & Boroughbridge Show, Newby Hall, Yorkshire, UK

Day 25

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Nasturtiums

I had a haircut today.

I don’t like a lot of fuss. I just have a wet trim, but it’s a good one.

The hairdresser is tired, almost to the point of tears. She needs a rest, a holiday.

Lydia is enjoying the return of sunshine in our back yard. She’s been an absolute delight to be with today. I’ve given her lots of “rub-a-dub” massages and she’s loving them.

I’ve booked in to a half-day retreat at the Buddhist Centre on Saturday – overcoming anger and frustration. I’ve also booked to go to the Hepworth Gallery in Wakefield on Sunday where they have a Ceramics Fair. So, a good weekend lined up and an easy day tomorrow.

Oh, sleep it is a gentle thing …

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