The path beside the wood: a carpet of green with purple, yellow and cream
Continuing the story of Lydia and Me
I slept!
After resting from late afternoon into the evening, I slept.
I decided to take two paracetamol tablets, eventually, to help set me off. I do this only very occasionally. I’m wary of relying on medication to help with relaxing and sleeping. They are addictive and eventually don’t work.
30 or so years ago, after I’d had a complete breakdown in all aspects of my life, I became addicted to prescription tranquilisers and sleeping tablets. Never again.
I detoxed by walking miles and miles in the hot Mediterranean sun, sweating it out. To do cold Turkey I went to hot Turkey. It worked, and after that I started finding more constructive ways to manage my mental, physical and emotional health.
It hasn’t been and still isn’t easy but I push through on positives, most of the time.
Today I’ll have another woodland walk with Lydia; then go to a yoga class for an hour and a half this afternoon. There is no Qigong today – we have a week’s break between blocks of three. I’ve already done some physio exercises for my knees, while waiting for the kettle to boil.
Yesterday’s wall of emotional exhaustion is no more.
As I enjoy spending a bit more time in bed, I listen to whatever sounds the world is bringing to me: the beep of a lorry reversing, the gentle rustle of leaves, a motorbike revving and cars passing by. They’re nothing spectacular but they are the sounds that are here for me this morning, and I like them, just as they are.
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After dropping my pots off yesterday with Imogen, who runs the firing service that I use, I went to the pottery studio. There I had a quiet afternoon making more pots. I didn’t count how many I made. I discarded one and there was another that I could have discarded but I chose to keep it. It has a quirky shape, not quite what I was aiming for at the time – my throwing skills are still very much in development:) – but it may turn out to be a pot that somebody chooses to buy, and loves.
This morning, I lie in until about 9.30, although get up a few times to let Lydia out into the back yard and then go out to her when she starts barking. I give her a good “rub-a-dub-dub” massage to help calm her down and she settles again, for a while.
It’s another hot day so we only have a short walk but it’s a relaxed one. Lydia is walking by my side, to heel, most of the time. She does start to lunge and bark at a passing car but I do what the behaviourist taught me to do and then give her plenty of verbal reassurance, combined with some more “rub-a-dub-dub”. I think she’s started to associate the phrase with the massage now, so we’ll keep working on it.
I notice that my knee is a lot better; the right one that I tend to have problems with. I also notice that I’m spending more time rubbing in the ‘wear and tear’ lubricating gel that I bought, to help with it. The combination of gel, affirmation, physio exercises and joint care vitamin and mineral supplement is working. Slowing down the pace, focusing on priorities, is working too, for Lydia and for me. The stress that I had been feeling a few days ago is dissolving, for now at least. How wonderful this weather is; long may it last.
My knee is healing, and getting stronger, each passing day”
This affirmation has been coming into my head this morning and I kept saying it to myself, over and over again, as I drove to the walking spot for Lydia and me.
I also kept saying it over and over to myself as I was walking with her. And as she was walking with me, she was walking easily to heel most of the time.
I reinforced this with occasional reminders: “heel – yes – good girl”/treat. But she seemed happy to fall in easily by my side with a loose lead, and we had a lovely walk together in the sunshine, with a light breeze.
I’m looking into how I can do more work with Lydia’s vagus nerve, and more work with my own nervous system, dysregulated after years of doing my best to address compounded complex sets of difficult circumstances.
The website, stuffofsuccess.com, identifies a number of ways that a dog’s vagus nerve can be re-set or stimulated:
1. Learn to read their body language. Anxious dogs tend to drool, pant heavily, pace back and forth, or whine when they’re feeling anxious. Some dogs may tuck their tail between their legs or pin down their ears. Pay close attention to your dog’s body language so you can react quickly to help settle them down.
2. Show them some physical affection. Few things get a dog to calm down faster than the owner’s touch. Pet parents can help alleviate their dogs’ stress by holding them or petting them during stressful events.
3. Put on some classical music. Music therapy has been shown to work for some anxious dogs. Dogs with mild separation anxiety may benefit from music therapy when they’re left at home alone.
4. Try aromatherapy. Use an essential oil diffuser to fill the air with calming aromas such as chamomile or lavender. You can also try diffusing synthetic pheromones that can help calm dogs.
5. Provide a calm, safe place. If your dog’s anxiety is triggered by thunderstorms or loud noises like fireworks, it’s important that your dog feels safe when these triggers occur. Dogs’ ears are much more sensitive than human ears, so consider placing a white noise machine in a cozy spot in the house to drown out the noises that are scaring them. Keep stimuli to a minimum.
6. Dress your dog in a calming vest. Calming vests wrap around your dog, offering a consistent level of pressure that can make them feel calm during stressful situations.
7. Provide proper socialization. Exposing puppies to a wide array of social situations can help stave off anxiety at a young age, but you may want to skip the dog park. Provide socialization in a more controlled environment first. Older dogs who may have pre-existing traumas or phobias may need the help of a trained behaviorist.
8. Make sure hyper dogs get enough exercise. Sometimes the best thing for a hyperactive dog is to let them get their energy out through exercise. If your dog is exhibiting destructive behaviors at home—chewing, jumping, biting—they likely have pent-up energy that needs to be exhausted. Take them for a walk or give them some extra playtime to help bring down their stress level.
9. Avoid eye contact with hyper dogs. Dogs love attention, but sometimes this can be counterproductive. Hyper dogs who are exhibiting anxious behaviors may feel validated when they receive attention while acting out. Instead, try to ignore a hyper dog until they calm down. Then reward them for calming down with lots of eye contact and dog treats.
10. Give them calming supplements. Chamomile, pet-friendly CBD oils, and melatonin are all good options for helping lower your dog’s heart rate. Check with your veterinarian before giving your dog any over-the-counter supplements to ensure you’re giving your dog the correct dose.
11. Consider anxiety medication. If most calming techniques are not working to calm your dog down, talk to a veterinarian about getting your dog a prescription anxiety medication.
Of these, I haven’t done any work with her so far on 4, 6 and 11. I do occasionally burn a scented candle or some joss sticks in the house, but generally the house is a calming environment for Lydia.
If she was demonstrating anxiety all the time, at home and during walks outside generally, I would consider anxiety medication. But she’s so much calmer than she used to be when we’re outside, that I would be reluctant to go down that route because of potential side effects. We’ve recently consulted a behaviourist regarding her reactivity to other dogs, and we continue to put into practice the techniques identified. Therefore I’m going to do more work with her on ‘massage and gentle pressure’ as my identified priority for the time being.
Ear massage, neck and throat massage and acupressure & TTouch are identified on stuffofsucess.com as techniques that focus on nerve stimulation, for example using “light circular motions along the spine and near the ears”.
I don’t know what TTouch is so will do some more research to find out. In the meantime, I can do more of what I’ve been doing on ear, neck and throat massage.
Having done that bit of research, and identified a priority to help Lydia feel more relaxed, I can now look forward to a bit of relaxation for myself for the rest of the day.
We have a neighbour coming round to enjoy the sunshine with us. Warm sausage rolls, cold beer, potato salad and coleslaw. It’s going to be a good afternoon.
Glad About 
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