Tag: walking

Day 8 – caring

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Writing into Life

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I wake early, around 6am, relieved to know that there is no pressure for me to get up and out of bed for a few hours yet.

I set myself a target of 9.30 but rise before then, go downstairs and make a cup of tea.  The important thing comes first though – giving Lydia a tummy and chest rub.  Then I open the back door and do a few repeats of ‘Healing Form’ as Lydia welcomes the day in her own way.  Sue, the Qigong teacher, reminded us of some of the details of the Healing Form movement in the class last night so I was able to reintroduce these to my practice.

It’s a quiet walk for Lydia and me this morning, with no passing cars, joggers, cyclists or dogs; just a tractor going to and fro’ across a field in the distance. 

Back home and she has her breakfast from her breakfast ball as usual; she is an expert now at nudging it around with her nose so that the dried food pellets fall out; it’s a lot better for her than passively eating from a bowl.

I have a restful morning, doing nothing much more than loading and setting off the dishwasher, and putting away some clean laundry.  I’m sure if I looked around the house I could – and would – find dust and cobwebs in various corners, but on the whole I’m up to date with what needs doing inside.

As it’s Tuesday I visit my friend who used to live in the village but now lives in a care home, a few miles away.  Her personal carer, J is there too, and we have a lovely chat together outside in the sunshine while J does M’s nails, commenting on the wonderful weather we’ve had this summer and how we wish we could have weather like this every summer.

After J leaves, I read M a short story from a magazine I’ve brought with me. She lies on the bed and snoozes as I read.  At 85, it’s good to see her relaxed and looking so much brighter than she did a few weeks ago.  It’s amazing what a change of environment can do.

Arriving home, I have a supply of dental sticks that I ordered for Lydia, and proof copies of my latest books in paperback form waiting for me.  I give Lydia a dental stick for a treat straight away and flick through the proofs.  I’ll need to look at them in more detail before I approve them for publication, but am pleased on first sight.

Self-management rule no. 20 is a good one: enjoy the process. I have found in my life that it is enormously difficult to do this, but am working on it, and – I believe – getting better at it by the day, bit by bit, step by step.

Day 7 – purpose

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Writing into Life

Photo by Tara Winstead on Pexels.com

Lydia and I did a double circuit of our woodland walk this morning.  It was good walking weather, neither too warm nor cold, and she was doing really well with her “heel” work, tugging on the lead only a little but also at times pulling herself into the “heel” position, which I was quick to reinforce with the reward of a treat (or three). She’s not just a “good girl”, she’s the best girl (but then I’m biased).

I’m rewarding myself with the treats of a yoga class followed by a Qigong class this afternoon.

I keep to the routine of my ‘Mental Health Mondays’ most weeks, providing the classes are on. It makes for a great start to the week, working at deep levels which, combined with meditation, help me to push through on positives.

That doesn’t mean that I’m always ‘doing stuff’.  It just means that I’m working on training my mind to not revert to the negative thought patterns that I grew up with, so that I can move forward in different ways, taking care of my body at the same time as I need it to carry me through.

I’ve taken a further positive step by applying to do some volunteering at the Buddhist Centre.

My offer is one afternoon a month for now, as I don’t want to over-commit on top of existing commitments, particularly since I’m still working through a phase of burnout.  But being at the Centre yesterday helped to remind me how replenishing an atmosphere it is, and I have a lot of skills learned in my working life that could be put to good use.

It isn’t always easy, during retirement, to re-establish ourselves after the rigours of working life have taken their toll. I don’t want or need too many things going on but I do need to feel that there is some meaning and purpose in what I do and why I do it.

Day 9

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

Lydia is very calm on our walk this morning; much calmer than she’s been on a walk for a very long time. It’s lovely just to amble along with her, stop when she sniffs at and forages blackberries, feel no need to do much other than just walk along with my dog beside me. I tell her what a lovely dog she is and let her know how much I’m enjoying my walk with her.

I also thank her when we get back to the car. I want her to feel appreciated. She is.

The sense of mellowness and calm continues throughout the day.

I visit a friend in the village. We also go for a walk together, and we thank each other to show our appreciation of each other’s company.  It’s a lovely thing, to enjoy the company of another; nothing to prove; just a sense of being together, being alive and being there for each other, even if it’s just for that day.

As I write, Lydia is enjoying being outside on a day which is warmish with a soothing breeze.

I’m enjoying being inside, with the door open.

A lingering sadness remains and always will, but the nagging, aching grief has gone, as each day brings something new, or not new. It doesn’t matter. Each day just brings.

No such thing

There’s no such thing
As an ordinary day
Each day awakens
In its own way

Some days it rains
Some days it’s sunny
Some days are serious
And nothing seems funny

There’s no so thing
As an ordinary day
Each day is different
In its own way

Some days are lonely
Some days are glad
Some days are joyful
Others are sad

There’s no such thing
As an ordinary day
Each day unfolds
In its own way

Some days are busy
Others are slow
Some days it’s hard
To know which way to go

There’s no such thing
As an ordinary day
Each one just passes
In its own way

***

And when the day
Is done and gone
We sleep
Until another day
That isn’t ordinary
Comes along

Maggie Baker
April 2025

Day 6

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

I needed a rest today; Lydia did too.

It’s raining.

She shows no interest in or inclination to go out in it.

We’re normally both all-weather girls, but today I have no interest in or inclination to go out in it either.

I leave the back door open so that she can go outside if she needs to, and go back to bed.

On checking my phone mid-afternoon, I see that it’s still showing the “connect charger” message.

There is no light on the extension board and no light comes on when I press the wall switch.  We have a power cut.

My phone charge is low so I turn it off, in case of emergency.

Thankfully, I can boil some water on the gas hob so make myself a cup of tea.

This is a ‘down day’ but not a ‘down day’.

The depression that I’ve been working through most of my life has gone, as has most of the more recent anxiety.

I’m tired – of course I am – but I’m neither ‘down’ nor ‘out’. I’m OK. We’re OK.

When I look over at Lydia, she is gently licking her paws and doing what she needs to do to look after herself, like I do.

For now, that means doing very little, and that’s enough.

Later we do go out for a walk, between showers.

When I give Lydia her tea, feeding her by hand as I always do, she waits a full two minutes in the “stay” position before I reward her with a raw chicken drumstick.

As always, I remind anyone and everyone to take veterinary advice on any aspect of dog feeding and nutrition. I only know what works for me and Lydia.  All dogs are different, just like all people are different.

The power comes back on.

Day 21

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Continuing the story of Lydia and me

Keeping things simple is key for me just now. I can’t cope with complicated nor do I want to.

What better way, then, than to enjoy the company of friends, as I have done this weekend.

Yesterday I visited a friend – a fellow Ceramic Artist – at the Dovecot Gallery, near Doncaster, where she was exhibiting. It was a summer show in a garden setting, full of colour and creativity.

Today a friend and I visited a friend of hers. We sat together for about four hours, talking. Just talking. It was lovely to have a three-way conversation, each of us bringing in thoughts and ideas from our lives and experience.

My Ceramic Artist friend is a year or two older than me, so in her early 70’s. She started out in her career with clay just a few years ago. Rarely have I come across anyone more passionate about what they do.

My friend’s friend is about 10 years younger than us. Unlike me, she doesn’t enjoy good physical health, but she doesn’t let that stop her expressing herself through her art. She is a talented Textile Artist as well as a dog lover and owner of four canine companions.

While I aim in this blog to be positive about pushing through into a position of mental health recovery that I’ve been working towards most of my life, at the moment I’m struggling to get my brain to function.

Despite enjoying the company of friends, despite the wonderful weather, despite the woodland walk I had with Lydia this morning, I’ve hit a wall.

At least though, now, I know it won’t last, that I just need to rest – which I will – and tomorrow will be another day.

Looking across at Lydia, as I write, she is looking back at me. I’ll give her some more “rub-a-dub-dub” massages later, to help soothe her vagus nerve and I’ll keep doing what I need to do to help soothe mine too.

Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines – now available in paperback: https://amzn.eu/d/eQ2sWjU.

The Kindle version is currently for sale at £0.99 on a Kindle Countdown deal https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk.

Day 20

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me

I’ve been looking back through some of my earlier blog posts, including one that I wrote in 2021:

Exercise and mental health: overcoming barriers

I referred to an article, Where Do You Store Stress in Your Body? Top 10 Secret Areas | Psychology Today by Sean Grover, who identifies the ‘Top 10 Tension Areas for Unwanted Feelings’ as:

1.Lower Back: Anger
2. Stomach & Intestines: Fear
3. Heart & Chest: Hurt
4. Headache: Loss of control
5. Neck/Shoulder Tension: Burdens
6. Fatigue: Resentments
7. Numbness: Trauma
8. Breathing Difficulties: Anxiety
9. Voice & Throat Problems: Oppression
10. Insomnia: Loss of self

I found that list helpful then, and I do now.

Historically I’ve had a long struggle with anger.  I’ve done a lot to address this, as I described in my blog from 2021, and continue to do so.

I’ve recently worked through sudden surges of fear and anxiety, as described in my book, Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines https://amzn.eu/d/eQ2sWjU https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk. (also available for Kindle, see below)

I don’t have any problems with my stomach and intestines, nor breathing difficulties. I used to suffer from fatigue but don’t anymore, generally sleep well, never get headaches and am altogether faring very – and thankfully – well for my 69 years.

I could just be lucky and, in many ways, I know that I am. I am very very fortunate to have the robust and healthy body that I have. But I have also done a lot to work through negative emotions, as well as finding ways that work for me to keep my body fit and healthy.

Having established a basic pattern – incorporating Qigong, yoga and walking – into my weekly routine, I’m sticking to it.

A step at a time, a day at time. It’s amazing how it builds up until you realise that you don’t have to make quite so much effort that you used to have to make, because a lot of the inner resistance has gone.

As I write, Lydia lies sleeping on the floor in front of me. She rests and sleeps a lot but she’s approximately 10 years old. She readily jumps in and out of the car with ease, rolls around in the dog park, runs about wearing her ‘happy legs’ as I call them. She’s booked in for a routine health check at the vets next week but I’m fairly confident she has no issues with her heart or digestive system (I make sure that good stuff goes in and monitor what comes out). She continues to have fear and anger issues on sight of her triggers: other dogs, some people, moving vehicles.

We’ll keep working on our residual tension areas, together.

It probably won’t be easy, but we’ll do it, step by step, day by day.

Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines – now available in paperback: https://amzn.eu/d/eQ2sWjU.

The Kindle version is currently for sale at £0.99 on a Kindle Countdown deal https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk.

Happy Summer Solstice Everyone!

Day 12

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Continuing the story of Lydia and Me https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk

Lydia had a chance to run about without harness or lead this morning, in a secure dog field.

I love to see her using what I call her ‘happy legs’, as she trots around, rolls about, sniffs, sniffs and sniffs some more.

While she is doing what she wants to do, I do some exercises for my knees. I’m still applying the ‘wear and tear’ gel to the backs of my knees, taking a joint care supplement, and saying the affirmation: “My knee is healing and getting stronger each passing day”. This combination of attention to my knees seems to be working. My right knee – the one that I was having some problems with a few weeks ago – is much improved.  Again, I reflect on how lucky I am, at the age of 69, to have the level of fitness and health in my body that I have.

During difficult times mentally and emotionally it can be hard to look after ourselves physically. Well, that’s my experience anyway and earlier blogs refer to evidence that supports this.

Teeth
Day 8

And, of course, it is in those times that we most need to look after ourselves in all aspects, so that we can have the chance to recover into a good place.

If it wasn’t for Lydia, I would have nowhere near the level of physical fitness that I have at the present time. Taking her for a walk every day – even if it isn’t a particularly long or strenuous one – has helped me both physically and mentally. The training and learning we’re doing together helps to keep us both mentally stimulated and strengthens the bond between us. 

I gave her some good neck and leg rubs this morning while we were out in the dog field. She settled down into the massage, then shortly afterwards went for another run and a roll.

I’ve read a little bit about the vagus nerve and the part it plays in regulating a dog’s nervous system.

I’m doing some of the things that are recommended to help support her nervous system. She is generally quite calm in most situations these days, including now as she is lying outside in the back yard, enjoying some sunshine and not even barking at the birds. Progress!

As for me, well I think my vagus nerve may be over-stimulated and not well-regulated, but I will keep working on it, doing my best to remain as calm as possible, even under difficult circumstances.

Coming back to knees, I came across an online article, published recently by the Knee Pain Centers of America (The Psychological Impact of Knee Pain and How to Cope) which identifies a link between stress and knee pain:

Stress plays a crucial role in the experience and management of chronic knee pain, affecting both physical and emotional health. When an individual encounters stress, the body activates the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis, leading to increased secretion of cortisol, the primary stress hormone. Elevated cortisol levels over time can contribute to tissue degeneration, muscle wasting, and persistent inflammation, all of which can exacerbate knee pain.

Psychologically, stress is closely linked with emotional disturbances like anxiety and depression. These mental health issues can alter pain perception, often intensifying the sensation of pain through neurochemical pathways. Depression, in particular, involves cytokine imbalance and neurotransmitter dysregulation, which can make pain feel more severe and reduce motivation for physical activity.

Moreover, chronic knee pain can itself influence mental health adversely. Limitations in movement and daily activities may lead to social withdrawal, loneliness, and feelings of helplessness. This emotional distress feeds back into the physical aspect, worsening inflammation and pain, and setting up a vicious cycle.

However, research indicates that managing stress through lifestyle modifications, engaging in regular, low-impact physical activity, and psychosocial strategies can break this cycle. Techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation exercises, and support groups have shown to alleviate stress, reduce inflammation, and improve both mental well-being and joint health.

Referring to strategies to reduce stress and its impact on knee health, the article notes:

Effective strategies include engaging in mindfulness-based exercises such as yoga and tai chi, which promote joint flexibility and mental calmness. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle with weight management, smoking cessation, and regular exercise helps lower stress levels and protect joint integrity.

Supportive therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) help reframe negative thought patterns about pain, reducing catastrophizing and emotional distress. Additionally, social support networks and participation in support groups can provide emotional resilience, helping individuals cope better.

Incorporating these approaches into comprehensive treatment plans addressing both physical and mental health aspects yields better outcomes, reducing pain severity, improving mood, and fostering overall well-being.

Therefore I seem to be doing quite a few things right to help maintain healthy knees. I’ve still got a lot to work on but I am doing what I can, when I can.

The identified strategy also brings to mind and – to my mind – supports the principle of affirmations. Affirmations help to reframe negative thought patterns and I am committed to continuing to do that, for myself, for my knees and for my dog.

My knee is healing and getting stronger each passing day.

Day 9

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One of my bowls, featured on a friend’s windowsill

Yesterday’s combination of walking, yoga and Qigong worked well as I had a restful evening and a good night’s sleep.

I did wake up at around 3am when dawn was already breaking and the birds were already singing. Listening to the birds, the sound of the wind and what was at one point quite heavy rain, I fell back to sleep and woke feeling refreshed, ready to make the most of today.

It’s been a good start so far.

Lydia and I have had a wild and wonderful walk, with the weather warm and slightly breezy. The sun came out too.

It’s a Tuesday, so I’ll go and visit my friend in the village this afternoon. I go every Tuesday, for a couple of hours in the afternoon. We usually go out for a stroll, if the weather’s OK. More fresh air! More exercise!

Lydia is outside enjoying some sunshine now.

I’m going to start making arrangements for my latest pots to be fired.

I don’t have a kiln at home – yet – but I do know someone who runs a firing service. We arrange a time and a place around mid-way between her home and mine, for drop-off and pick-up. She provides a very good service; takes the greatest care.

I have plenty of time before the next planned event for selling my wares – the Aldborough & Boroughbridge Show:

https://www.boroughbridgeshow.co.uk/

Consolidation is going to be a theme for me, going forward, for the foreseeable. I’m not quite sure as yet what form the process of consolidation will take, or what forms my pots may take, but process and pots will take form, one way or another.

Day 1

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continuing the story of Lydia, Me and our Family of Three https://amzn.eu/d/99yW3Qk

Photo by Anthony ud83dude42 on Pexels.com

As I wake, I start to say affirmations to myself.

I first heard about affirmations over 30 years ago, when I came across the Louise Hay book, ‘You Can Heal Your Life’. (Hay House, 1984)

Affirmations have helped me in my healing process, although I’ve had to do a lot of other things as well.

The affirmation that I connected with at that time was: “I am the love and beauty of life in all its manifestations.”

I didn’t feel like I was the love and beauty of life in any of its manifestations, but I kept saying it to myself, over and over again.

I’d had some persistent warts on my thumb for years and found no lotions or potions that did anything to get rid of them.  They disappeared though, shortly after I started using this affirmation.

Coincidence? Maybe, but I don’t think so. The power of positive thinking is not to be underestimated, in my view.  And my view does tend to be aligned with a lot of other views, including those embedded in Buddhist teachings.

During the Covid crisis, my affirmation of choice was, “I choose to be peaceful and calm; everything is unfolding as it should”.   Some people laughed at me when I told them about this at the time, but it did help me to stay calm during Covid, even if I did go through some very ‘not so calm’ periods later.

Today, I am saying the Louise Hay affirmation, and also another that I came across online:

“My knee is healing and getting stronger, each passing day.”

I don’t have too much of a problem with my knees, at the moment, but they are a weak point for me, so I do exercises that a physio taught me, take a one-a-day vitamin and mineral supplement for joints, apply some ‘wear & tear’ lubricating fluid that I bought from the chemist, and say the affirmation.

I need my knees to be functioning and flexible so that I can keep walking and working with Lydia.

We go on our woodland walk this morning.

On the narrow path across the field, between growing crops, Lydia’s nose nudges the backs of my knees, but the lead is looser than it was the last time we did this walk. She seems much more relaxed, and this continues as we emerge from the field and start along the grassy path beside the wood. I do a few ‘about turns’ as I need to but she pulls very little.  We make our way through the wood, which has a warm dampness about it from yesterday’s rain, heating up now with today’s sun.

At one point during our walk, Lydia looks up at me, mouth open as if she is smiling, and I think that she is telling me that she isn’t as afraid as she used to be. She is still alert to sights, sounds, smells, but she isn’t pulling away from me. I feel like we are more ‘together’ on this walk, today. Every so often I reinforce the “heel” command, using some dried food from her daily allowance, mixed with some treats to give extra value to her reward for being a “good girl”.  I haven’t brought cooked chicken with me this morning; I’ll use that tonight when we have our evening training time.

Home and, after giving Lydia the rest of her breakfast allowance in her favourite food ball – which she pushes around with her nose to get access to the dried food pellets that I put inside – I get my own breakfast. It’s a late one and I have a busy afternoon planned.

For much of last year I had what I referred to as ‘Wellbeing Wednesdays’ because I used to take Lydia for a walk first thing, then go to a yoga class, then go for a psychotherapy session at 1pm, then, after taking Lydia out for another walk in the afternoon, go to a Buddhist teaching and meditation session in the evening.

Now I have ‘Mental Health Mondays’, with yoga and Qigong in the afternoon.

Qigong isn’t as well known as yoga, and I find both beneficial for both my physical and mental health. I wrote a blog post about Qigong a while back:

Qigong – body awareness of a different kind

My Qigong teacher, Sue, congratulates me on the forthcoming publication of my book:

https://amzn.eu/d/0TIIDLG

It’s good to be on the receiving end of congratulations, and to feel good about the publication of my book. I used to think that I could never feel good about anything to do with myself again. Now I can, and I do.

Lydia, Me & our Family of Three

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Lydia, 2025

When I first started writing this blog I had just retired and it was something that I wanted to do.

I thought it would help me to complete a cycle of mental health recovery that I’d started many years previously, and that in writing about my experiences it might help others too.

I had no idea then just how far away I was from the summit of my recovery mountain, or just how many sheer cliff faces I was going to have to climb to be able to finally enjoy the view.

That was over five years ago.

I found no easy answers but knew that I had to keep going, and I did.

At 69 I have no wish or need now to climb any more mountains, either in my head or with my feet. However, my journey does continue, day by day, step by step, and I will continue to write about it and share it with anyone who is interested.

My new e-book, publishing on Amazon for Kindle 5th June, gives insights into how Lydia, Me & our Family of Three have recently  made our final ascent:

‘Train your dog; train your mind – positive reinforcement for humans and canines’

https://amzn.eu/d/iAQbck8